#her hobby is also watching ants work
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Not sure if anyone has posted this to tumblr yet, but Bedman?'s and Delilah's official bios and descriptions seem to be released (albeit entirely in japanese.)
#text post#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#bedman?#did a little bit of google translating of the article so take what i say with a grain of salt#but delilahs likes seem to be listed as baiken and bedman's bedframe. shes so cute#her hobby is also watching ants work? i think?#bedman?'s description seems to say that it isnt actually bedman in the bed frame#but that rather bedman somehow influenced it when delilah was dying. like the bed frame isnt capable of complex thinking like human bedman#idk if anyone that actually studies japanese wants to translate these/give insight: please do!
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Omg that drarry collage has my heart. Like. The Malfoy's the morning after and Harry just sitting there like a good boy 😂😂😂
Also, I know nothing about Mr. Baby but I love him already.
harry really can’t think of a worse spot to be in, and he has faced literal DEATH!! i’m glad my humour works on other people too XD
MR BABY!!!! he is!!!! IMPORTANT!!!! he is draco (and harry’s) cat! the lore on when draco got him is not fully settled but it’s either a) cissy got him for draco the summer before eight year to cheer him up. or b) draco got him right after eight year. but anyway, they are b e s t friends, they are a team that no one can break appart. mr baby sleeps next to draco and follows him everywhere. draco has multiple picture albums filled with pictures of him that he will forcibly show to everyone.
mr babys hobbies include sleeping on HIS armchair (it used to be lucius’s but he took over it the first day home), hunting ants and spiders that crawl around the house, biting at every electrical cord he can find and eating cereal.
mr baby doesn’t really like harry, but if something scary happens (like post coming in or draco trying to hoover) he will hide under harry’s shirt for hours. he scratches him every time he walks by, so harrys shoes, socks and trouser legs are filled with little holes. harry loves it.
mr babys biggest idol is crookshanks, who could not care less about him. every time crookshanks comes over mr baby follows her around and meows really loudly. he desperately would love to play with her and shows off all his toys but she is very much not interested.
also harry and draco are pretty sure he thinks scorp is his child, he watches over him all the time and won’t let strangers get too close to him, esp as a baby. draco cries a little when mr baby changes his sleeping place from next to him to scorps bedroom. when scorp goes to hogwarts mr baby goes with him <33333
(also hello hi i gotta fangirl for just a second, your fic underneath it all is my absolute favourite favourite everrrr!!!! it’s so good and lovely and REAL i love love it!!)
#also a few pics of what he looks like#white and fluffy with a little bit of gray#mr baby#aka the white cat from my drawings#he is#so special#and i know this is too much for a fictional cat#THAT I MADE UP#but he deserves it#also posting him and othe things later today#asks :)#harry potter#draco malfoy
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Rewatching "I Love You, Man" and Overthinking Rudy's Iconic Halloween Costume
One night this week, when I was feeling particularly tired after work, I noticed that the 2009 movie “I Love You, Man” starring Paul Rudd, Rashida Jones, and Jason Segel, had just started on one of the commercial-free movie channels, so I decided to watch it. I had seen it a long time ago and thought it was pretty entertaining (I pretty much always find all three of the movie’s leads entertaining in anything, so…_). But I’m pretty sure I hadn’t seen it since “Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street” came out, and certainly not since I became a person who writes “Bob’s Burgers’ fanfic and posts stuff about the show on this silly website. So, some thoughts on “I Love You, Man” specifically as the source of Rudy’s iconic Halloween costume:
-Man, this movie is R-rated! I had looked that up a while back, and it amused me because Louise also makes reference to R or TV-MA rated stuff (No Country for Old Men, Pan’s Labyrinth, Game of Thrones, just off the top of my head). But, I couldn’t exactly remember why it was Rated R, and if that rating made sense. Rewatching it reminded me that there is a lot of sex-related dialogue in the movie. It could not be cut out or toned down that much. It is actually pretty central to the plot (I’m not going to go into details, since I don’t want to put a content warning on this post, or spoil a 14 year old movie for anyone). It’s not a movie I would feel okay about watching with a 9 year-old that I was responsible for.
-So, did Rudy actually see the movie? There are definitely other times on the show where it is pretty clear the kids haven’t actually seen the more adult entertainment they make reference to (“what’s Caligua?”) It’s quite possible that Rudy may have just been familiar with Paul Rudd from more age appropriate fare (Ant-Man or something) and seen the poster for “I Love You, Man” somewhere and thought Rudd’s outfit looked cool (I mean, it’s a sweater and jeans, but this is Rudy we’re talking about).
-But I think it’s more fun to imagine he actually saw the movie. It’s implied that Rudy has a number of older cousins (we meet Mandy, and he wants her to tell the others about his attempt to sled backwards) so I can imagine him seeing the movie at a family thing with a bunch of his older cousins and just being so excited to watch a grown-up movie with the older kids that he thinks it’s the best thing ever despite a ton of the jokes going completely over his head. (There are a lot of movies I saw with my older sister as a kid then when I revisited them as an adult I realized I had completely missed some pretty racy stuff in them.)
-Also, I then imagine Rudy later innocently asking one of his parents about some term he heard in the movie that he didn’t understand, which leads to the older cousins getting in trouble for letting him see it.
-There are definitely parts of the movie I could see Rudy understanding enjoying. The first conversation between Rudd and Segel’s characters is Segel pointing out how another guy is clearly holding in a fart because he is trying to impress a woman he just started dating. This seems to very much be on the level of humor of most of the Bob’s Burgers kids.
-And it’s pretty easy to see Rudy enjoying Paul Rudd’s character in the movie, because it’s basically just Paul Rudd playing a nice kind of dorky guy in a pretty typically Paul Ruddy manner. His character is into fencing, which I can easily see Rudy thinking is a pretty cool hobby. (I can totally see Rudy and Louise trying fencing when they get older).
-Rudd’s character also plays the bass, and there is a running gag of him saying “I slap the bass” in a bad attempt at a Jamaican accent. I can see Rudy enjoying this and repeating the line to the point of annoying people (“You don’t even play the bass, Rudy, you play the drums!”) I may be projecting because that’s certainly what I would’ve done as a kid.
-If you managed to read this far without knowing the plot of the movie, Rudd and Jones’ characters get engaged and it is pointed out to them that Rudd has always been a “girlfriend guy” who doesn’t really have close male friends. It’s kind of interesting to think about that in the context of Rudy, since it seems pretty clear that Louise is his best friend, and I find it interesting to think about who Rudy’s best male friend is. I have this headcanon that it’s Jeremy just because he is at Rudy’s birthday and his appearance seems kind of random if he’s not actually good friends with Rudy. (It’s easy to see Harley going to that party because she’s super friendly and seems up for anything, and Rudy could’ve gotten to know the Pesto twins through Louise, but why is Jeremy there?!)
-That said, the male characters Rudy has the most friendly interaction with on-screen are probably Zeke and Gene (or as I like to think of them, the World’s Best Future Brothers-in-Law). Of course, Rudy is a minor character who is only in 10% or so of the episodes and we basically only see him when he’s with the Belcher kids. It’s possible he has a really meaningful friendship with Hogarth Haber that is never seen or referred to on-camera.
-So, be on the lookout for my Roudise “I Love You, Man” AU Fic, coming soon! (That’s probably not actually going to be a thing. Honestly, I think I’ve explored this joke as far as I can. Well beyond the point of reason, in fact.)
-I had forgotten what a fun cast “I Love You, Man” has! In addition to Rudd, other “Bob’s Burgers” guest stars in the movie include Aziz Ansari, Andy Samberg, Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, and Joe Lo Truglio.
#bob's burgers#regular sized rudy#headcanon#character analysis#nightmare on ocean avenue street#i love you man#long post#seriously how did i manage to write such a long post about this?#rudolph stieblitz
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giada d'amiano.
(JORDANA BREWSTER, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER) Oh, is that GIADA D’AMIANO I heard the FORTY- ONE year old is INTUITIVE. But don’t let that pretty face fool you, they are also MANIPULATIVE. Makes sense seeing how they are COUNCIL in THE SERPENTS gang. penned by ally
basics.
full name: giada rosalia d’amiano nickname(s): g, gia, ms. d’amiano face claim: jordana brewster age: 41 birthdate: may 4th star sign: taurus gender: cis woman pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual gang: the serpents, council cover: boutique owner birthplace: milan, italy current residence; new york, new york languages: english & italian theme song: gloria - laura branigan
reflection.
face claim: jordana brewster. hair color: dark brown eye color: espresso brown height: 5’7 build: tall & slender, and loves her risotto alla milanese tattoos: tramp stamp from her rebellious teen years. small butterfly because her favorite aunt used to call her "piccolina farfalla" little butterfly in italian. scars: burn mark on her leg from boiling pasta
family.
mother: antonia d'amiano father: massimo d'amiano siblings: francesca d'amiano (35) tba d'amiano, tba d'amiano pets: tba
personality.
characteristics: intuitive, clever, quick witted, savvy, manipulative, reticent, opportunistic, passionate, loyal, dramatic, particular, innovative, honest fears: small spaces and off the rack couture hogwarts house: ravenclaw passions/hobbies: designing clothes specifically lingerie for her boutique, cooking her family’s secret recipes, entertaining, shopping, watching old hollywood films especially ones starring sophia loren, playing cards and smoking cigars, supporting ac milan football club, fashion week drugs/ alcohol/ smoking: not opposed/ in moderation / cigarettes and cigars socially colors: classic black and white, pops of red and jewel tones. aesthetics: cigar smoke and lipstick stains, having an ace up her sleeve, homemade vino, power suits, imported issues of vogue italia, stilettos tapping impatiently, family style dinners, fur lined dressing gowns, upping the ante, sketches and 100s scattered over marble countertops, sips of espresso, focaccia to finish off the last bits of sauce, 3AM strokes of genius, a spritz of dolce & gabana, mascara stained satin pillowcases, fashion week in milan.
biography.
Giada was just a child when her father uprooted his family from Milan, Italy to New York City to join her grandfather in the Serpents gang he would eventually become a council member of. Growing up, she was the principessa, and apple of her mafiosa father’s eye. Though she was surrounded by the family business, daddy’s little girl was always thought to be just that and young Giada was kept as in the dark as much as possible when it came to his dirty work, deemed by her father a man’s business. It was a challenge that made his endeavors all the more intriguing to her. While her mother urged her to help her with Sunday dinner, Giada found herself sneaking off to play cards and smoke cigars with the neighborhood kids. She was sharp, intuitive, and business savvy taking after her father more than mother. Quickly, she learned the ways of the streets, and the higherary of the families. Eager to prove herself, Giada used her cleverness to hustle kids and make a pretty penny. Her efforts only disappointed her parents, and the more Giada was kept away the more she began to rebel, even falling for a boy from a rival family. Naturally, it couldn’t work and by the time Giada was 17, she was shipped back to the motherland in hopes of straightening her out and keeping her away from the family business. She lived with her Zia Teresa outside of Milan learning the ways of the old country. Her zia taught her all the secrets behind the family recipes, how to sew, tend a garden, and above all else that the most important thing in this life is family. After living in Italy for five years, Giada returned from the fashion capital not only with renewed sense of clarity, but with a degree in fashion merchandising. She and her siblings became incredibly close afterwards, and she is the first one to invite everyone over for Sunday dinner and a round of scopa. She found love and met a person who would later become her ex-fiance. In return, her father gifted her Moda Bella, not only as a reward for a job well done but also as another distraction in hopes she would be too busy with the boutique to concern herself with business dealings. And for a while that’s exactly what Giada did; she kept her cards close and played the long game. For while there is a queen in the deck, one must be careful how they play it. When the D’Amiano patriarch passed, she couldn’t help but jump at the chance to become a part of the serpents in her father's honor. She started off small, offering up her boutique as a stronghold in addition to 30 percent of the earnings and eventually working her way up the ranks, even becoming a leader for a few short years. Now at 41, Giada has gambled away her chance at love and a family of her own to be dealt in at The Serpents table. She earned a spot as a council member with a hunger to keep the momentum going. She is willing to do just about anything to prove that she too can play with the big boys.
PINTEREST I SPOTIFY | WANTED CONNECTIONS
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orchid + tulip + buttercup !!
cropping it cuz i didnt realize itd b so long
orchid: biggest fears
ok so like obvie theres their fatal flaws? which kinda play into it cuz like... gabby and her fear of just kinda experiencing unwanted like. situations n stuff. and angels just like. general anxiety n cowardice. like idk all three of them do have pretty bad anxiety during p1 so ....
but other than that i think ummm
gabby -> heights / the dark?
angel -> (big) dogs / bugs
jade -> the dark? tbh i cant rlly think of anything im too sure of rn. i dont think she would be an anti bug type girl? ... maybe like... idk... needles.... sharp things... sad i need to think about this ...
tulip: if you could say / do one thing to ur oc what would u do
this is like... imagined in current times? no age differences idk
gabby -> lowkey id be so afraid to talk to her so maybe id just like give her a pc or something 😭😭😭 or like ask her to sigh my yearbook since we go to the same school LOL.... very distant friendly stuff.. maybe work on a school project with her but im not too sure how well we would get along with that?
angel -> i joke about having a crush on him all the time but i fear it would come true if we went to the same school and i see him around. i think id like... ask him about hobbies ... or like share my school supplies with him to try and get him to like me .. (how tragic it would be afterwards though 😭😭😭🤧).... or just like cheer him on as hes skateboarding rlly badly or playing some game
jade -> bro tbh im not sure but if i were brave enough id let her keep some of my crafts stuff Hahahaha 😭 or if i met her pre-p1 id steal her necklace and put that thing AWAY bro. the trash or something. that will not be our problem anymore 😤 (though how would this affect everything after.... is jag not a thing.... if it wouldnt be then ignore this idea.) idk what we would rlly talk about. ig id have like a chill library hangout w her or smth
these are not very cool or anything Lolll
buttercup: weird odd etc habits
gabby -> i mentioned earlier a silly scene where she references talking to herself / her possessions so if i do decide to make that canon then i think maybe the fact that she talks to her chan pc sometimes. or like... what are weird habits... i need to think about this more with everyone though ive been like. adding this to a list of things ive gotta do for them lately
angel -> idk how odd it is cuz idk how most ppl sleep but when he goes to bed hes like a PLANK. on his stomach. legs straight. arms to his side. also more funny than weird but he does that thing where jonah will ask him to do smth and he'll say No but then do it anyway.
jade -> going with how she collects things i think she'd be the type to have a pet rock. and like make furniture and a house for it. not really a habit but idk. also maybe that she talks to ants / small bugs like theyre these little guys. like people or something. just as she like sits on the ground watching them. and she gets excited when they do anything and she'll put obstacles or food in their way to see how they react. a little movie of sorts
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I would also love to hear some of your headcanons for Alfred and Alexia. Only if you want, of course.
My headcanons are related to the fanfic I am currently writing, so none of them are directly related to the videogame and its canon.
Anyway, here are some of the headcanons I am working on (subject to change), from childhood to adulthood.
Alexia Ashford
Her family nickname is "Lexia". She hates her name being confused with Alexandra and its diminutives (Alexia is the feminine form of Alexis, not Alexander).
His greatest passion (and obsession) is literature. He reads absolutely everything as a form of escapism or hobby, as well as for study or knowledge. Outside of his studies and work, he reads a lot of contemporary philosophy and enjoys writing essays or non-fiction. Although he also reads a lot of fiction, he does not usually write prose, preferring poetry. Outside of literature, his interests include contemporary independent music (the more niche and quirky, the better) and cinema, which he watches with his brother, with the exception of a few films that catch his eye because of their subject matter or style. His favourite franchise is Alien because of the xenomorphs (because of their association with ants).
Apart from biology and chemistry, Alexia is interested in computer science, especially artificial intelligence, and music composition with electronic synthesizers. She is also knowledgeable in various disciplines such as physics, anthropology, history, etc. She is a Renaissance woman.
Alexia tends to be introverted and socially conformist so as not to attract attention. Unlike her brother, her personality, hobbies and tastes are straightforwardly unusual, rather than stereotypical, which tends to make her seem odd to those who do not know her.
The origin of their sociopathic tendencies is related to their social isolation, both forced and voluntary, due to their differences in intelligence and personality.
Alexia's genius is based on an accelerated learning capacity, and a highly developed problem-solving and creative ability.
Alfred Ashford
His family nickname is "Alf", like ALF the alien. The nickname was given to him by his maternal grandmother before the series premiered.
He started playing video games at the age of 7, as an escape and a way of overcoming the boredom of loneliness and the absence of his father and sister, who were at university. Alexander gave him the video game E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600 for his thirteenth birthday. As a teenager, his love of video games, especially the explicitly violent ones, would become one of his greatest passions and collections, along with music and film.
He is passionate about both high and pop culture. His favourite artist is David Bowie and his favourite film genres are slasher and snuff. His favourite serial killer is Michael Myers from the Halloween series.
His best and only real friend is his cousin Auguste Campbell, with whom he shares hobbies and sociopathic tendencies.
Alfred tends to be outgoing and socially normative, although his personality, hobbies and tastes are unconventional. He is not shy, but his lack of self-confidence makes him withdrawn and not as decisive as Alexia.
The origin of his sociopathic tendencies is related to the absent father syndrome with Alexander, his own insecurity at being compared to Alexia, and his contrast with Alexia's personality. He resents Alexander's incomprehensible indifference towards him, especially as he knows that Alexander had a very good relationship with his father Edward.
Alfred is gifted, although his talents come from the social sciences, the humanities and the arts. He has a talent for drawing.
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I was tagged by @missmeganlee and @simonsapelsin for this tag game! Thanks guys I love this stuff so much. Also, Meg you fenced saber? How cool is that! And Simonsapelsin I'm curious about the naughty cat. Need naughty cat details for sure.
Where were you born? Southern California, USA
Are you named after anyone? My name was kind of meant to sound similar to one of my dad's great aunts, the same kind of vibe at least. My middle name is in honor of the baby girl my parents had before me, who didn't live long. It was her middle name too. And my mom liked it because it's a flower name (my middle name) like my Grandma had.
What's your eye colour? Brown
What sports do you play/used to play? I dabbled in dance as a kid, and I did a little horse riding in my early 20's but nothing really stuck.
Favourite subject in school? I liked English the most, sometimes social studies. I read a lot as a kid so English was pretty great. I really disliked that we had to wait and "no reading ahead" was commonly brought up. I wanted to get passionate about the books and keep going with them. But it was my favorite for sure. Don't ask me about math.
How tall are you? I'm not sure? I was told 5'5 1/2 years ago but when I had to have crutches last year the nurses claimed I had to be taller because the crutches height for 5'5/5'6 didn't work. I had them measure me recently and they said 5'4. So...5'4--5'5?
Do you use sarcasm a lot? I'm very sarcastic. I like one liners and stuff as well.
What's the first thing you notice about people? Probably their hair and outfit.
Scary movies or happy endings? I prefer happy endings. I used to watch loads of scary movies but I can't anymore. I want good, happy endings. :D
Any special talents? I can crochet really well, if that counts.
What are your hobbies? I love baking and watching historical baking and cooking videos. I also enjoy reading, I collect antique and vintage books (particularly mysteries), sometimes geocaching is cool. Crochet, I used to collect dolls and I'm getting back into that. Video games. But I'm not really consistent, stuff comes and goes in waves. My main hobby is currently blogging about this little show from Sweden about this prince and......
When was the last time you cried? Today. I had some tears well up. I had a good cry yesterday too.
Do you have pets? I have a Turtle named Leonardo. Leo has been my buddy for 15 1/2 years. I also have a black kitty with a little white tummy named Snoopy. She was a relative's cat who I've taken in after they passed away. She is very spoiled and has recently become much more open and showing a really strong personality.
Do you have kids? No kids currently. My brother has plans though so aunt duties in the future!
Dream job? Same as Megan. I'm not sure but I need something where I can make my own schedule and be creative. No desk job please, I get bored easily.
I'm going to Tag These lovely people who can do it if they feel like (no pressure but I love hearing about you)
@snallavanta @atdawnweryd @andthatisnotfake @notalotgoingonatthisinstant @bluedalahorse and @freakishly-bookish-ant
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Hi!!!
Before I get to my request, congratulations on 1.5k! I’ve been following you for a few months now and everything that you put out is just insanely good, I always feel so immersed in your writing! You are seriously so so talented!!!
For your celebration, I wanted to do option two, please!! I would like either the Harry Potter fandom (either era) or the grishaverse, whichever one works better for you!! My pronouns are she/her and I am straight. I am about 5’3”, have collar bone length dirty blonde hair, solid cobalt blue eyes, and I am definitely more on the chubby side. Personality wise, I am very academic driven. I work hard for my grades and have always put a pressure on myself because of it. I come off as a shy person, but once you get to know me I am a total loudmouth and I will talk about the silliest topics. I love to banter. I’m quite insecure and can get embarrassed really easily, but it’s something I’m working on. I also am the oldest of 6 siblings and am the mom friend of my group. I have a soft spot for literally any animal or flower (it’s an issue). I get along with pretty much anyone I meet (I’m a people pleaser), but I keep a really close inner circle. Reading, music, and crafts are my favorite hobbies. I absolutely adore every genre of book. My current favorites are Little Women, Hunger Games, and Far From the Tree. I love figuring out plot twists in books/movies. I absolutely love horror movies, it’s a tradition in my family to watch a new one every weekend. Music has been a major part of my life for years, I play the alto saxophone and piano. My favorite artists are Taylor Swift, Noah Kahan, Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, the Backseat Lovers, and Daisy Jones and the Six (I know they’re a fictional band, but their album is amazing). I love just about any craft I can get my hands on (jewelry making, sewing, painting, scrapbooking, etc).
I’m sorry for making this so long!! I’ve never done one of these and wasn’t sure how much information to put in them! Thank you for doing this!!!
hi! thank you so much for the kind words, i really appreciate it. i’m glad you’re enjoying my work, thank you for the support. and thank you for participating :)
since you gave me to fandoms, i’ll tell you who i ship you with from both, and then i’ll do the full thing for who i think you’re better suited for.
i ship you with james and matthias! i’m gonna go with james for this, hope that’s alright :)
james absolutely needs someone as good at banter as he is. that man can talk about anything and everything for hours, and he’d love having someone around that would listen to him and was genuinely interested in hearing what he’d have to say. he’d know that you would always be a shoulder he could lean on, and he’d be the same for you.
james would adore someone as dedicated but fun as you are. i don’t think james really has to try to do things well, he’s just naturally good at a lot of things. so he’d see the effort you put into yourself and into school, and he’d really admire your work ethic and how much you care. he would hate that you were negative about yourself, and he’d always know the right things to say to cheer you up and make you feel better. he would always see past ant flaw you had (or thought you had) and see the best parts of you. and he’d make sure to tell you how highly he thought of you. hed think you’re literally the coolest person ever with how artsy and musical you are, your hobbies involve a lot of skill and time. it takes a special kind of person to stick with it and enjoy it as much as you do. he’d see how sweet and caring you are. he’s got a big heart himself, so he’d find himself really drawn to you.
idk why but i feel like james would HATE horror movies. he loves adventure, but he’d see no point in intentionally scaring yourself. he’d be under the assumption that there were plenty of other things you could do to get your adrenaline pumping, and scaring yourself shitless wasn’t the way to do it. but, he’d do anything for you. and it was a good excuse to get close to you anyway.
—
he’d go into movie night with the intention of being your big protector. he’d put on a brave face when you chose the movie, huddling up next to you as you hit play. and just as the first jump scare happened, he’d flinch and reach out to grab your hand.
you’d smirk, raising a brow. “you alright?”
“yeah, yeah,” he’d clear his throat, letting you go as he took a breath. “just didn’t expect that. i’m good.”
you’d smile to yourself as you turned back to the movie, knowing there was a lot more left—and a lot more scares. the movie would continue, and james would keep inching closer as it went on. by the end, he was halfway in your lap, hiding his face in your shoulder. the second the credits rolled, you couldn’t help but chuckle, turning to look at him.
“love, that was horrible!” he whined, not even pretending to act unphased.
you’d smile, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “you were very brave, james. you only broke a knuckle or two squeezing my hand that hard.”
“oh, piss off!” he’d say, but he was chuckling too. “i’m picking the movie next time. none of that blood and demons and shit. something funny, yeah?”
you’d nod, trying and failing to hide your smirk as you reached up to brush his hair out of his face that he’d messed up from the sheer amount of times he’d jumped and hid his face as he clung to you.
“yeah. something that’ll give my hand a break.”
—
thanks again for participating! i hope you liked this :)
#harry potter#followers celebration#marauders#james potter#1.5k followers celebration#1.5k followers#1500 followers
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Lol forgot the rest of the question—
As for stuff they do outside of work, they all have their own little hobbies, most of which are psychic based. The agents do go to like, normal stores and restaurants on the occasion and actually pay for stuff. Wanda and Ant both have ‘civilian clothes’ too.
CRIME hq is directly next to/in the sea. So Wanda likes to do water activities by HQ! She used to be a mechanic and plumber in her pre-villainy so she actually enjoys going around a fixing stuff around hq! (Or like reworking stuff so they’re set up in a comically weird way a la sink water being controlled by a light switch). Batty’s bread and butter is just SCIENCE, so he loves inventing new things and researching when he isn’t deploying his inventions and ideas in missions. Batty also loves playing the piano for the non work related hobbies. I could go more in depth into all of their hobbies but this post would be so long lmaoo.
Dexter for the first year or so just hangs around hq, does Dexter things like video games and reading comic books and such. When he’s like 12 or so Batty ends up pulling some strings to make him go back to school again and he . Isn’t very happy about that— batty helps him with his homework it’s fine :-)
Ant’s whole thing (and origin of their nickname) is just BEING OBSESSED WITH ANTS so, most of their hobbies are just ants. Or ant related. They do some technology and programming stuff in their free time but there not a huuuge inventor like Batty. Other than that one of Ant’s jobs in the hq is handling the mail!! And with that they love opening other people’s mail and reading it—
Minerva is ooooooldd so she enjoys the common old person activities, she really lives weaving and other thread related fiber craft. She also probably just watches bad reality tv shows and makes fun of them with her tv star experience lmaooo (Dexter likes joining in).
I don’t really have any questions but can we hear about some more of your villain ocs life outside of well villainy? Do they have a home somewhere or do they just live at headquarters? What they do outside of work? Etc.
So all of the main CRIME agents live at headquarters, there’s a bunch of other villains that work there or work with them that live somewhere else, but for the most part the actual ocs live there lmaoo.
Minerva definitely has a secret lair somewhere not attached to hq, same with maybe Wanda, but they don’t necessarily *live* there. Batty is INCREDIBLY elusive to the psychonauts and just general public, his laboratory is apart of the HQ. Batty was one of the founding members (when he was pretty young) so he was already living in the hq when it was just an old bunker.
Dexter has a decently sized bedroom there that just looks like a normal 10 year old comic nerd boy’s bedroom, with some added criminal plans and inventions. Ant’s office and attached bedroom is RIGHT next to Dexters, so their ants escape on the occasion and crawl into Dex’s room lmaoo. Ant technically has a home elsewhere, he used to live with his parents before going to college, he ended up dropping out but his parents don’t really know that— so his old family house probably still has a room for them and stuff but for all intents and purposes they live at HQ.
Cortez is the founder and he just ALSO lives there too, but it’s less of a normal “having a room going to the communal kitchen for food” living situation that everyone else has.
#wanda whelk#dexter fahrenheit#ant shoebottom#self reblog#dr. batty sawbones#minerva doom#psychonauts#psychonauts original character#psychonauts ocs#thedamtalkingtag
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some Fox headcanons to get you through the day
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Dan puts butterfly clips and Matt’s hair one day when she’s bored and he thinks they’re the coolest things ever. he wears them out to his next class and doesn’t pay attention to the stares he gets because he likes them and he thinks they are cute.
Kevin is allergic to peanuts and they all make fun of him for it. (“you can survive living in an abusive cult, but a fucking peanut can kill you?”)
Renee likes to try snacks from around the world. Allison ships some in every month and tries them with her.
Matt learned how to cook at a very young age. his mom would let him help her cook all the time, eventually turning making dinner together a daily occurrence. Matt loves making dinner for the Foxes when he has the chance, often taking charge when they have holiday dinners at Abby’s.
Kevin is a geography king. if he’s not doing work or something exy related, he’s probably practicing geography on map quizzes or playing geoguessr.
Renee and Dan are both good at art. Renee is good at sculpting detailed charms out of clay and making cool jewelry that she sells on an etsy shop. Dan is good at drawing and anatomy. she’s thought about doing commissions on instagram or twitter, but she thinks that mixing a hobby with profit will take away her love for it. she also likes drawing what she wants to in the moment, not having a specific prompt of guide to follow.
the scene at the diner with all of the Foxes after they get back from Baltimore, but at the end Neil says “almost got murdered by my mob boss dad” to add to the Foxes statements. he could tell the waitress thought he was just adding to the joke, which made him laugh when she walked away.
on March 20th, 2020, the day both Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Conan Gray’s album Kid Krow came out, all of the Foxes drove to the stadium and sat in the lounge together for hours. the ones who had a switch played Animal Crossing while the ones who didn’t watched. they listened to Kid Krow from the tv. they did this every day for over a week.
the Foxes have a really fun time teaching Neil slang words. they think it’s amazing how Neil can fluently speak three languages and can say hundreds of phrases in others, but still doesn’t know what ‘dope’ means. Matt and Nicky made him flash cards as a joke, but Neil had genuinely debated using them.
Dan and Neil are the designated bug killers because everyone else refuses to go anywhere near them. Renee will leave them be, not bothered by bugs, but all of the other Foxes are throwing a fit because of tiny house spiders or ants.
#aftg#all for the game#all for the gay#dan wilds#kevin day#andrew minyard#matt boyd#aaron minyard#allison reynolds#nicky hemmick#renee walker#neil josten#dan x matt#aftg hc#aftg headcanon#aftg headcanons#psu foxes#palmetto state foxes
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the proposal (m)
banner done by the ammmahhzzing @eerieedits
summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. pairing; editor!Jungkook x assistant!reader (f) genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always w.c; 20.1k of endless banter and koo hiding his romantic side a/n; yeah, it’s almost summer. But i think we need a lil holiday magic in our lives! I rewatched the proposal this weekend and whipped this up. Why is koo so gosh darn easy to write? This is my longest fic since i wrote maze runner back in 2014!! i rec this extension to get fully immersed in 2pov! Enjoy and pls tell me if there’s any errors im too poopied to proofread it again drabbles; 01
“When I hired you, you basically signed a contract that said you’d do anything for me.”
“Yeah, Jeon. I did. That meant like, getting you coffee or working late hours—normal work stipulations,” you can feel the hair on your scalp growing thinner, “not commit fucking fraud!”
Your boss looks moreso frustrated than you are, but you cease to care. Jeon Jungkook has been nothing but a thorn in your side since your employment at Big Hit Publishing two years ago. Being a budding author who wanted to graduate from online sites and freelancing, you accepted the job as the editor-in-chief’s assistant in the hopes of getting your first book published.��
However, your dreams of being an editor are quickly dissipating, especially when Jungkook corners you this afternoon and announces that he may have left America during the time his work visa was still processing. He may have to give over his editor-in-chief position because there’s no way he can get a work visa processed in time. As a result of this information, he may have told his supervisors that you seduced him on a late night one year ago, and you two fell in love and have been secretly engaged ever since.
Because y’know, your citizenship to this country is an asset to the company.
“We didn’t have to go to Norway to PR Emma Watson’s autobio,” you huff, fingers going pale from how hard you were gripping your iPad. Jungkook is an esteemed workaholic, and you have no idea where it stems from. You remember that trip to Oslo, Jungkook insisting that you and him both go to make sure everything goes smoothly.
“You weren’t complaining when we went to that restaurant with the open bar.” he runs a hand through his coiffed hair, making the pomade untack from its style. “You got so drunk that Emma held you while you cried about global warming.”
Wholly unamused, you frown. “Jungkook, can you please take this seriously?”
“I’m taking this seriously, you’re not the one who’s about to be deported in two weeks!” Jungkook hisses, face dangerously close to yours. Not that anyone would know what he’s saying, but you can tell from his defenses that he genuinely is nervous.
“You wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew your Visa!”
“I wouldn’t be deported if you had just set an earlier appointment to renew my Visa!”
At least twenty pairs of eyes are watching your confrontation, probably making their own conclusions as to what you two were fighting about again. Curse this office for having full-walled windows, you often feel like an ant in a plastic farm. Your work relationship is an anomaly to the rest of the staff. Before you started working at Big Hit, Jungkook’s assistants did not last long. Within the first week of working, you understood why.
Jungkook whirls around his desk, glaring at the glass doors as he puts himself between the staff and you. “If you don’t marry me,” he says lowly, close enough for his hot breath to fan your face, coupled with his fresh-scented cologne. It annoys you how good he smells. “You’ll also be replaced because they want to give the my position to fuckin’ Karen of all people,” you fight the twitch of your lips. The only thing you two mutually agreed upon is the hatred of his co-editor, Karen. “All of the late nights we’ve worked together, the gallons of coffees you consumed, putting up with my shit, your dreams of becoming an author,” his eyes flicker to the way the grip in your iPad trembles, “will go down the drain and turn to shit. Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.”
Pretending to be unfazed, you bat your lashes, “So are you saying, you need me?”
“For fuck’s sake—”
“Ah-ah, Jungkook. I’m not going to ask you to get on one knee, but you should at least tell me how much you need me.”
You assume with great confidence that the only reason you’re kept on Jungkook’s payroll is because you’re not afraid to stand up to Jungkook’s bullshit. He looks positively disgusted at the mere thought of paying you an iota of a compliment. You’d say on average, you get half a compliment a month from Jungkook. You say half because he’ll compliment you, then downplay it with whatever flaw he can fabricate to get under your skin.
He loosens his lavender paisley tie, annoyed. “Fine. I need you. I need you because you’re the only one who knows me well enough to be my wife. You’re the only woman I’ve had full conversations with in two years and knows all my dietary restrictions, favorite books, foods, and hobbies. By process of elimination, you are my best candidate.”
“Romantic,” you roll your eyes, “I guess I do,” you push him away with a finger to his chest, “but I want a raise. And after we finish Sorn and Mark’s project, I want you to read my novel.”
“Done and done.”
“Well Jeon, I guess you’ve wifed me up with your ways of seduction.” you muse sardonically, feeling more upset for yourself than anything.
“Fantastic,” he sighs, finally throwing his tie across the desk and plopping in his armchair. “Cancel the call with Janet, call PR about Irene Kim’s interview on Ellen, and order me a medium rare steak from J.J. Bittings with a side of brussels.”
“Right,” you mutter under your breath as you pull up your checklist, as if you didn’t just give away your life to the Devil incarnate.
Jungkook’s back is already facing you, focusing on his computer displaying two new manuscripts. “Oh, and on your way to J’s don’t forget to pick up your ring at Saks.”
“Bitch, you’re asking me to pick up my fake wedding ring?”
Unbothered, he shrugs. You see the planes of his shoulders stretch beneath the blazer, because he’s deemed this conversation long over and he has work to do. “Yeah, but it’s real diamonds.”
You’ve been seeing red for days.
While the rock on your ring finger is indeed beautiful because Jungkook has impeccable taste, it drags you down and arouses the elephant in the room everytime you show up for work.
You get enough stares on the daily, and you were just getting used to the looks of pity and sympathy for working under Jungkook, but now there are only snickers and playful winks as you trudge down the cubicles every morning. Everyday feels like the runway at a shitshow, and you are the headliner.
Taehyung clapped you none-too-hard on the back when you showed up to work the next morning, congratulating you on the engagement. “Can’t believe you’re fuckin’ the big boss!”
The rest of the staff poke their eyes out of their cubicles like Digletts, and you shush them, using your hand to make them sink down.
Coffee is spilling down your shirt thanks to him, and you reach for tissues in his cubicle. “Can you not say it like that, please?”
“Oh, come on. I heard from the supervisors Jungkook went on about how you seduced him late at night and took charge,” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows approvingly, and you fight the urge to not throw up your coffee in his face. “How do you keep it so professional? Or do you save all that pent-up energy for after hours?”
“You disgust me,” you grimace, stepping out of his cubicle and immediately regret wasting your five-minute break conversing with the typist.
Striding back into Jungkook’s office, he doesn’t hesitate to rattle off the next items on today’s agenda. He barely looks at you when you stride in, too focused on whatever corrections he’s slashing in red ink.
“Did you get Taemin’s second draft?”
“No, and I told him that if he can’t get me the draft by tonight he won’t get a publishing deadline and the number of copies published will be decreased by a third.”
“And Taehyung’s author agreed to our stipulations?”
“Of course, she’d be dead not to.” you mutter, “she’s a nineteen year old Influencer, what would she know?”
“Exactly, that’s why we milk it out as long as we can.” Jungkook throws the first draft in a large, intimidating pile, mixing in with all the others like a needle in a haystack. “Which is why it’s important we snag dinner with her this weekend, we can really—”
“What, this weekend?” your sense of equilibrium cracks, and you walk forward to put his hands on his desk. “I took this coming week off for Christmas. I’ve planned this for months.”
“I know.”
“I can’t just cancel my flight! I saved up for that!”
“And?” Jungkook brushes off your fury like a piece of lint, “I’m Korean. Christmas is a fake holiday for me.”
“You can’t just tell me I can’t go home to my family, it’s the fucking holidays!”
“Why not, I’ve done it before. Remember on Valentine’s day when I told you the only date you have is a date with Kwon Boa’s publicist? Or on Secretaries Day when I argued that you don’t feel appreciated by society anyway and therefore why bother taking one extra day off? Or during Easter when your family screamed in my office on speakerphone that you should quit—”
“Okay,” no need to be reminded of how much you’ve wasted your life for this man, “but this is different. I’ve already bought plane tickets and this holiday is special. It’s a whole family reunion in the Poconos and we’ve reserved over five houses to fit all of us! I can’t just ditch!”
“But I need you!” he replied just as hotly, in a tone that reminded you so many times of how tethered you are by this man. Two years have gone by, and the only thing that kept those strings together is the constant ache in getting your first novel published. “With all the marriage stuff and stupid extentions we had to make on these writers there’s no way we can get everything done before winter ends!”
“You’ve done it before, why can’t you just ask Taehyung to assist—”
“Trouble in paradise?”
A chill travels up your spine, and you and Jungkook exchange panicked eye contact. A tiny, pretty blonde lady struts in the room like it's hers, plopping a fruit basket atop Jungkook’s manuscripts.
“If by paradise you mean our relationship, then no.” Jungkook’s the first to recover, meeting you at your side and stretching an arm around your waist. “I’d say work-wise things are getting a little rough, but nothing we can’t handle. We’re a team, after all.”
“I just wanted to stop by as I was in the neighborhood,” the woman says, making herself comfortable in a leather seat reserved for guests. “Congratulations again on your engagement.”
You tack on a smile, squeezing Jungkook’s arm a little too hard, but it’s enough to make the lady in front of you smile back. “What brings you here, Taeyeon?”
Kim Taeyeon is Jungkook’s immigration liaison, AKA the person responsible for making sure you’re not breaking the law. She’s a pretty thing, with eyes sharp but a smile that’s soft and deceiving.
“It’s just a shame you two have to rush a civil wedding,” Taeyeon sighs, looking at the window overlooking the city.
“Ah, it takes some of the planning stress off my back, really.” you force a laugh, tugging Jungkook to sit on the couch opposite her. “At least one thing is done. The thought of planning a whole wedding with over two-hundred people is so stressful.”
You weren’t really going to have a white wedding with Jungkook (however you may have entertained the thought, which is reflected in your Google search history) but you had to keep up the ruse that you were. A civil wedding in two weeks, then a quickie divorce a year later.
“I know! My wedding was a real mess let me tell you, straight out of a movie!” Taeyeon is certainly the type of person to make you feel at ease, so at ease that it’s simple for you to melt your front. “But besides the point, are you two doing anything special for the holidays?”
“Ah, well I bought a flight to meet my family in the Poconos,” you start, trying not to succumb to your nervous habit of wringing your fingers. You grab Jungkook’s hand as a reprieve.
“And you’re not going?” Taeyeon’s gaze snaps, yes snaps, to Jungkook.
You try to step in, realizing your flaw. “We’ve just been so swamped with work, all the immigration stuff and with these book delays Jungkook suggested he stay behind—”
“But we’ve decided to prioritize our personal life and enjoy Christmas with our family,” Jungkook swoops in, threading his fingers between yours. He flashes Taeyeon a smile, and from the way his face lights up and his nose crinkles, you could’ve mistaken it to be genuine. “I’ve never experienced a big family Christmas, y’know. I’ve missed snowboarding too, I used to do it a lot in highschool.”
“Oh, that’s just so sweet!” Taeyeon cooes, clasping her hands together. “Do send some pictures when you come back!”
“Of course,” Jungkook stands up and attempts to leave Taeyeon out. You follow in tow, She obliges easily, mentioning something about just wanting to check in and she also has work to do.
“Also,” Taeyeon’s head flickers to the people sitting outside Jungkook’s office. “You should manage those workers out there,” she looks at you, sympathetic. “Apparently, they didn’t peg you as the type of person to sleep their way to the top. And that’s just what I heard from walking down the hall once!” she laughs, tinkling brighter than a windchime, but you just tighten the grip on Jungkook’s palm. “Such a childish assumption. Things can be much more complicated.”
She tips a “happy holidays” off her shoulder, and you both are smiling like the loving couple you are. As soon as the elevator doors close and Taeyeon is really gone, Jungkook moves to let go of your hand, but you hold him in your grasp.
“She’s onto us,” you snap, tugging him closer to you so your co-workers wouldn’t read your lips.
“Don’t you think I know that?” he bites back. He looks offendingly at the fruit basket adorning his desk.
“What if we get caught, Jungkook?” you start to spiral, feeling your deepest fears crawl to the forefront of your brain. You’ve done extensive Google research on commiting fraud, and if you do get caught, Jungkook will never be able to come back to this country and you’ll have a fine of up to $250,000. Your boss doesn’t pay you nearly enough to get by with that kind of debt. “We’ll ruin this company, and our lives, and any hope of being published or credible.”
“Hey, relax,” Jungkook whispers in your ear, the tone oddly comforting. He pulls you into his arms, and you barely have a chance to recover when he squeezes you extra tight around your waist. Jungkook only ever hugs you when doing PR, and even then it’s an awkward half-hug. Hell, he never hugged you on your birthday. “This is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna book my flight to the Poconos, bring some manuscripts so we can work remotely, and no one will ever know.”
You sigh into his arms, nodding tiredly. It feels nice to be hugged like this. His arms are strong and warm, and you feel small and protected. It’s been a while since you’ve felt like that. Maybe Jungkook did have a heart under all that muscle.
“I’m putting up a good show, aren’t I?” he says, and you feel your heart drop just a little. Disappointed, but not surprised.
From your view facing the cubicles, you see at least half the employees comically bugged with heart eyes at you, enamored by your fake relationship.
“Do not stretch your long-ass legs on this plane, Jeon,” you nudge your smaller leg away from your section of leg room, “Jesus, we’re flying economy!”
It scares you how little you fought against Jungkook joining you for the winter holiday. It is the logical decision after all, Taeyeon is on your trail about your sudden engagement and you both needed to keep up the ruse. That includes going on family vacations. Also, the fact that Jungkook works through Christmas because he doesn’t celebrate it does make you feel a little bad. You can’t remember the last time the man took a vacation.
The man in question barely moves at your weak attempt, and stretches his leg even further across your seat. “Sorry, babe,” he says, fishing around his seat for the included blanket.
“It’s fine, Kookie.” You reply sweetly, and decide to kick off your shoes to drape a leg over Jungkook’s thighs, “you’re like a portable footrest!”
He looks absolutely insulted at your objectification, but smartly decides to choose his battles and lets you keep your position. Tucking himself in with a scratchy blanket he waves you off, “Whatever, just wake me up when we arrive.”
“What, no.” you pull up your iPad, shoving the note entry in his face. “I know everything about you, and yet you know nothing about me. I made this easy on you and just wrote everything down. You just have to read it.”
“Seriously? I’ve known you for over two years, I’m sure I know enough about you.”
“Really, then how do I like my coffee?”
“Uh… hot?”
You give him a look and he knows. With a sigh he grabs the iPad from your hands. Within seconds he’s giving you another dirty look, as if he’s skimming a conspiracy novel.
“You know all this random shit about me?” Jungkook asks, scrolling down as to what feels like your life story.
“Yes, because unlike you, I listen when you talk.”
“Fine. What’s my favorite type of weather?”
“A warm and sunny day, which correlates to your favorite kind of date which is walking along the beach at sunset. Cliché much?”
“Okay, rude. Who’s my favorite artist?”
“You like a little bit of everything, but since seventh grade you’ve been pining for IU. In the office, you like to sing along to Lauv and Hozier.”
“Favorite movie?”
“The Marvel Series. But you really like 5 Centimeters Per Second, you like the romance.”
“And how do you know my favorite anime movie is 5 Centimeters Per Second? I’m pretty sure I’ve never told you that.”
“Jeon, when we were promoting Momo Hirai’s self-help book at Anime Expo you were gone for two and a half hours at 1:50 sharp.” your boss’ Adam’s apple bobs and he swallows thickly at your admonition. “And low and behold, you gave yourself thirty minutes’ time to line up early because when I checked the schedule Makoto Shinkai had a panel on ‘The Otaku’s Perspective on Romantic—”
“Alright alright, I get it.” Jungkook slumps in his seat, as comfy as it can get with your legs draped around him and a seat at the far end of the plane. You know he’s trying to hide a blush, and you feel proud for making him a little flustered. “You’re lucky I’m a fast reader.”
The plane ride goes relatively fast, with Jungkook asking quick questions about your family and other random things. It’s like playing a game of 20 Questions, instead it’s the final boss battle with 200 questions and if he doesn’t get them all right, the penalty is deportation.
When you land, you’re both stiff and glazed over. Once you exit the terminal, Jungkook ditches you for the bathroom and says he’ll meet you at the luggage pickup. You give yourself a few moments, gearing yourself up for the long week ahead of you. At the luggage pickup, you see a tall man watch the revolving conveyor belt with interest. Either that, or he’s zoning out.
“Joonie!” you cry, nearly dropping your phone upon seeing your big brother. He’s dressed comfortably in a grey sweat ensemble, as if he rolled out of bed and came straight to the airport.
A bright grin takes over his face, and he doesn’t hesitate to smush your body against his. Under his tall frame you sway, your toes barely swiping the ground. “You’re alive!” he cheers, pulling back and holding your shoulders to get a real look at you. “I can see you’ve gained a little weight, eyes are a little dark, but I’m glad the Devil let you go. I still can’t forgive him for making you skip out on Jin’s wedding.”
You don’t appreciate the way that Namjoon picks and prods at your exhaustion, but you know he means well. While he does not know your boss by face and name, he had enough artilerary from the billions of phone calls to learn about the Devil and the havoc he’s wreaked upon your life.
When you don’t respond he gets the cue that you do not want to talk about work this week, and he smacks his lips together. “But nothing a little R&R can’t fix! The ski resort nearby has a really nice outdoor jacuzzi and we could set an appointment for facials if you’d like. Or we could do absolutely nothing and turn into baked potatoes and watch movies until our eyes burn up.”
“Both would be great,” you smile softly, catching two familiar suitcases make their rounds on your flight’s conveyor belt. You grab your pink luggage with one hand, and Jungkook’s black chrome one with your other.
“So, where’s the new beau?” Namjoon rocks back and forth on his heels, hoping to get a glimpse of the mystery boy you mentioned you’d be bringing as of two days ago.
“He really had to go to the bathroom,” you squint your eyes to make out the newcomers exiting the dropoff area. “Oh, there he is. Kook!”
Like a goddamn model, he struts in your field of vision like nobody’s business. Unlike you who stayed in your apartment all day before leaving, Jungkook decided to spend a few hours at Big Hit in the morning to tie up most of the loose ends before your trip. He’s talking to what you assume to be is a client, noting the way his brow furrows as he clutches his phone with a tight hold. He’s changed out of his tie and leather oxfords, but he’s dressed crisply in a dark button up and blazer ensemble, still wholly overdressed for a family reunion.
Namjoon starts behind you, “He looks...”
“Handsome?” you goad, elbowing him, “Charismatic? Undeniable presence?”
“Hard.”
You don’t know what to make of that adjective, and you subtly shrink further in your jacket as you mull over the implications of his word choice.
Jungkook steps up to the two of you, ending his call. His eyes float between you and your brother, and he manages to put two and two together. “Hey man,” Jungkook gives a practiced smile, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, I’ve heard lots of things about you.”
“Good things, I hope.” Namjoon chuckles, returning the handshake. “I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you, though. Can’t wait to get to know you this week.”
“Looking forward to it,” Jungkook takes his luggage and Namjoon grabs yours, leading you two out to his minivan. While Namjoon is preoccupied with getting the car started, Jungkook looks at you as if he’s already regretting making the trip down. “This girl has two braincells to her name. I just got off the phone with Sorn’s publicist.”
“What trouble can an influencer do?” you reply in disbelief.
“Exactly, influencing is the trouble,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “she did some mukbang and now she’s in the hospital for food poisoning.”
“Ah, don’t get too worked up,” you help him lug your suitcases in the trunk. You spot Namjoon subtly eyeing you two from the rear mirror. Pressing a thumb between his brows, you make work to melt away the 11-shaped stress lines on his forehead. “Let’s just send her a Lush gift basket and she’ll be fine.”
You ignore the way Jungkook’s gaze lingers on you longer than needed, running over to your seat at shotgun.
The inside of his car smells like bergamot and lemon, and the sweet, vulnerable side of you wants to cry over how much you’ve missed your brother’s scent. It’s been way too long.
Once you’re all safely in the car and driving Namjoon says, “So, are you going to hide the engagement ring or give the family a collective heart attack?”
You tense, hands automatically floating to the teardrop diamond weighing heavily on your ring finger. The story that you two contrived about your relationship isn’t too complicated, but complex enough that it seems convincing. Instead of being your boss, Jungkook is your Literary Agent who gives you referrals to new and upcoming authors. You working closely together and bonding over the stresses of the publishing world, have kept a secret relationship under wraps for over a year to avoid any unprofessionalism or favoritism.
“I was thinking about that the whole ride, actually,” you twirl the metal back and forth, watching it gleam in the light. “Mom and dad know, but I don’t wanna lie to the rest of my family. They’ll freak out because it’s the first time they’re meeting Kook and we’re already engaged. It’s just a location thing, y’know. You guys don’t live in the city so we’ve never had a chance to really talk it out.”
Namjoon snorts, “Or, because your boss never gives you a break.”
If Jungkook finds any offense, he doesn’t show it. Putting what should be a comforting hand on your shoulder, he says from the back seat, “I already told you babe, do what makes you comfortable. But I don’t want to lie to your parents early on, you don’t wanna make the situation any more complicated.”
In other words, you better tell them about our engagement because Taeyeon could be hiding in the bushes waiting to catch us.
“Smart man,” Namjoon says shortly, but you can’t tell whether it’s a compliment or not.
“Yeah,” you exhale, turning to smile stiffly at Jungkook, “no use hiding the inevitable, right?”
The next couple hours are overwhelming. There’s a party right when you walk in your winter villa, your parents throwing you a reunion party (not for your family, but for you specifically because you’ve been MIA since Big Hit) with the house filled to the brim with family members. Within seconds your favorite cousin checks out the rock on your finger and screams that you’re engaged.
Everyone must be so high off the fact that you’ve made it to a family event that they’re elated you have a life outside of work. Jungkook is treated like a prince, charming the hell out of all your aunties and baby cousins.
“Oh, pumpkin!” your auntie squeals, linking arms with you while you’re trying to eat your dinner, “I just hugged your fiancé, and he has abs! Lucky you!”
“Auntie,” you hiss playfully, “you hugged him that tight?”
“He’s part of the family, isn’t he?”
“Right,” you force a smile, downing your glass of champagne. The bubbles burn your throat pleasantly.
“Babe, can you come here for a second?” Jungkook manages to swim his way through the throng in the living room, holding out a hand for you, “your mom said that our room is ready, care to lead the way?”
His smile, as pretty as you can care to admit, renders your aunt speechless, and she lets him whisk you away to a long hallway that leads to a set of bedrooms. Jungkook lets go of your hand as soon as you're alone, letting his palm run along the pictures that decorate your hallway.
He stops at a picture of you and Namjoon as kids, faces tanned and lips cherry red from your twin popsicles melting on your hands. “Wow,” Jungkook pretends to be alarmed, “I didn’t know you used to be cute, what happened?”
“Shut up,” you smack his hand away, walking ahead of him.
“I thought you guys reserved a bunch of houses, why does the furniture look worn and there’s pictures of you everywhere?”
“Our extended family has reserved houses, but this is actually my family’s vacation home. I used to go here every winter and summer break,” you reach a bedroom in the corner of the hall, smiling at your wooden name tag hanging on the front, “this is my old room.”
It certainly doesn’t have that youthful charm it once had, but there are still bits of your childhood scattering the room. There’s ticket stubs and photobooth strips tacked to a corkboard near your desk. Books that you would reread cover to cover are organized proudly on your shelf, worn for wear.
Jungkook groans in relief, plopping his body down on your freshly made bed. “Your family’s really clingy.” he sighs, throwing an arm over his eyes.
You turn to give him a snappy answer, but it dies in your throat when you see what he’s laying on. The familiar family quilt sinks under Jungkook’s weight, mocking you. You shriek, throwing your arms over to lug his body to the other side of the bed. Bundling up the quilt in your arms, you glare at a very appalled Jungkook.
“The hell is wrong with you, woman!” he cries, not loud enough to escape the room, but enough to have your body vibrate in annoyance.
“Jeon, they put the fucking baby blanket in my room,” you mutter more to yourself than him, folding it under your arms.
The blanket is comfy in your grasp and you’re sure it’s clean, but the fact that you weren’t actually married and in love made its appearance a whole lot worse.
“So?” his eyes are wide in confusion, “my mom still has my baby blanket too, I’m not gonna shoot anyone because of it.”
“It’s not my baby blanket,” you admonish, “it’s the baby maker blanket. A weird family tradition when someone gets engaged.”
“Which means?”
“They’re expecting us to fuck and have children.”
The thought of procreating and starting a family with you must’ve caused all the champagne to return to his throat, and he looks a little pale. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” he lies back down on your mattress, and you leave him be so you can chuck the blanket back in your parents’ room.
You’re barely out the door when a young man is waiting out in the hallway for you, poised to knock. “Hey, baby girl.” they throw you an easy lopsided grin, opening their arms to you.
In your haste, you slam your bedroom door a little too loudly. “Yoongi!” You let yourself sink into his waiting arms, reveling in the familiar embrace you missed so much. Yoongi is Namjoon’s best friend and work buddy, not to mention the man you’ve had a crush on since you were able to walk. While you can safely say at this moment there is nothing serious going on, a small part of you always wishes there could be.
His voice husks in your ear, “Why are we hugging in between the baby blanket?”
“Oh!” you brush past him, opening the door to your parents’ room and flinging the offending item as far into their room as possible. “Sorry, Jungkook and I were a little freaked out when we saw it. We’re definitely not thinking about children right now.”
“Jungkook,” he hums, and your smile falters just a tad when you see the way Yoongi tips his head down in thought, “It was quite the news. Congrats though.”
You want to say what you’re supposed to say, that yes, you should be happy. But the selfish part of you does not want this exchange between you and Yoongi to be happening. When you get your quickie divorce in a year, the small, hopeful part of you hopes you and Yoongi could be something.
Before you have a chance to fabricate a response, strong hands encircle your waist, and you feel Jungkook’s chin digging into your shoulder.
“Thanks, man,” Jungkook’s voice rumbles, “we really appreciate it.”
Yoongi gives a nod, muttering something about catching up later before he walks back to the party.
It’s then that Jungkook’s weight feels impossibly heavy on your shoulders. “You know, you’ve been doing a really shitty job of being my wife-to-be ever since we landed,” Jungkook whispers, feather soft lips dusting across the shell of your ear. It’s an act so intimate you can imagine your family passing down the hallway could be mistaking you two for speaking unthinkable acts. A toddler cousin spots you two and giggles, babbling something to your uncle about how you’re hugging. “You did so well when we were with Taeyeon and Big Hit.”
“It’s not the same when I’m lying to my family,” you turn to face him, equally simmering. “These are people that actually love and care for me, unlike you.”
“At least I care about what’s most important,” he grits back, “our jobs, our futures. Is that not enough for you to keep it in your pants?”
“Excuse me? You don’t even know him!”
“I don’t have to know him because I’m holding you right now and you’re practically sweating through your cardigan.” he grimaces, digging his chin further into your collarbone, literally trying to get under your skin. “Your face looks like a cherry tomato.”
You turn your head to bite back, your noses touching. The staring contest seems to last for days. Unlike Jungkook who doesn't know how to register basic human emotion, you still have hopes for a life after this. Before you have a chance to answer, your favorite cousin enters the hallway, oblivious to your concerns. Jimin’s red all over, passing you two flutes of blush champagne. “Hurry up, we’re making speeches!”
Champagne is overflowing like Niagara, and you and Jungkook are the reason for it as you’re thrusted into the living room. Your weird uncle is in the middle of a long-winded speech about his fishing business and how dreams are made from ‘bait and a dream’. You make eye contact with him, and he gestures wildly to you and Jungkook.
The crowd proceeds to go wild, echoes of speech! Speech! Reverberating throughout your living room. You and Jungkook share uneasy smiles, unsure of where to go with this show.
Deciding it’s your family by blood, you start first. “Honestly, when I moved to New York I wasn’t expecting to feel so lonely,” you clutch your flute with both hands, swirling your drink absentmindedly. You then turn to Jungkook, giving him a tender smile which he returns back just as fondly. “Until I met Jungkook. I’m really happy that I get to share this week with the people I love the most, so let's drink to family!”
Jungkook lifts his glass, “Thank you for the warm welcome, I can’t wait to spend time with all of you. This is my first Christmas with a large, loving family. Cheers to that!”
The room erupts in cheers, allowing themselves to clink glasses and chase down their respective drinks. Even the little ones crowding the kiddie table in the back are enjoying their apple juice while making silly faces at the new couple.
Jungkook weaves his arm between yours, and you get the signal to do a couples’ drink. He eyes you with mischief, as if to say we did it. After you two take your drink, Jimin’s the first to drunkenly yell, “Ohmygod just kiss already!”
“Kiss kiss kiss!”
“This is going on my story so make it good!”
“Kiss him before I do!”
“Oh my god,” you groan, throwing your forehead on Jungkook’s chest. Your family really is something else.
As if the chants can’t get any louder, it’s hard to focus on anything but Jungkook’s presence. Jungkook lifts your chin up, murmuring, “Let’s give the people what they want.” and he presses his lips to yours.
It’s awkward at first. Why wouldn’t it be, you’re making out with your boss, in front of your family, pretending to be engaged. But Jungkook doesn’t let up, parting your lips slightly to deepen the kiss. As much as you want to make up how terrible and disgusting kissing Jungkook is, it really isn’t. His lips are soft and he tastes like the peach champagne, and his grip on your waist is strong and warm.
He leaves you breathless when you pull away, a smirk on his lips for a brief moment before he turns shyly to your family who are probably foaming at the mouth now.
Maybe it’s the champagne coursing through your veins, but why does it suddenly feel so hot in the middle of winter?
The first day back starts off wholly uneventful, with Jungkook working on some manuscripts and you preparing dinner with Jimin. Most of your family is on the resort hitting the slopes, so you’re quite thankful for the reprieve since the party was so overwhelming. The blonde is all smiles as he bumps the oven closed with his leg, letting your lasagna bake to perfection.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Jimin rests his head on your shoulder, “it’s definitely not the same when we’re adults. Frankly, it sucks balls.”
“Big balls,” you agree, gnawing on a leftover baguette from last night.
“Speaking of big balls,” Jimin wiggles his brows as you attempt to move farther from him.
“Please don’t say it.”
“C’mon! Just tell me if the sex is good!”
“No!” you cry, flicking your crumbs at him.
“I will open this oven,” his hands are already on the handle, “and your dish will undercook.”
“Don’t you dare!” he opens the oven a tad, and you slam your hand down. “Fine! The sex is fantastic, happy?”
“Ewh, no!” The storm door swings open, revealing Namjoon, Yoongi, and Lisa, Namjoon’s lady friend. “I didn’t need to hear that, thanks.”
Your face looks absolutely pained as you watch the two older men walk in. They were the last people you’d ever want to share about your sex life too, even if it is fake. You can only bear to look properly at Lisa as they kick off their boots and shake the snow off their heads. Lisa pokes her tongue in her cheek, looking at you with a wild look in her eyes. “I’ve heard so much about your current drama. Can’t wait to hear the 411 from you, though.”
Yoongi looks unfazed, then again you never really know what’s going on in his head. “You guys wanna go to a movie tonight?” Yoongi asks, grabbing a slice of the baguette and dipping it in a dish of olive oil. “I think the one that’s showing is based on a book your company published.”
“Is it ‘Rotten Love’?”
“That’s the one.”
Pushing yourself off the counter, you nod eagerly. “I’ll go tell Jungkook to get ready. We can eat dinner real quick and then go right after,” you grab a bottle of water from the fridge, “Joonie, set up the table please.”
Jungkook doesn’t notice you walk in, and you can hear the faint sound of Muse blasting from his Airpods. He’s on your floor, doing pushups while reading a transcript under him. This time he’s using your iPad, every few seconds taking a thumb to scroll down. Sweating through his shirt, you can see the beads running along his silver reading glasses. It’s completely contradictory, your muscle bunny of a boss getting in his reps while psychoanalyzing a potential novel, but somehow it works with him.
“Maniac,” you mutter, bending down to place the cool water bottle on his cheek. He stops abruptly, like you’ve pressed the pause button on his seemingly robotic arms. Seriously, you can’t fathom how he manages to do both. You swipe the iPad under his body in place of a white towel, which he accepts gratefully. This isn’t the first time you’ve had to snap him out of it, sometimes you’d catch him at the company gym nearing 10PM, reading on the treadmill.
“What time is it?” he asks, fluting the water bottle down his throat.
Ignoring the way his neck glistens in sweat, you say, “It’s almost seven. C’mon, we’re gonna eat dinner and watch a movie. You’ve cooped yourself up in this room all day, time to interact with the world.”
“What movie?”
“The book we published in 2018, ‘Rotten Love’? They made it into a movie,” and you can’t help the wry grin that takes over your face when you say your next words, “guess who directed it.”
He sighs, rubbing the towel over his damp hair. The normally styled strands fall limply at his forehead. “I don’t remember, I shifted over that project to PR. Any director’s fine, but please please please don’t let it be—”
“Jung Hoseok!”
“Son of a bitch, we gotta go.” And it’s the first time in a while you see a genuine smile graze his features, one not laced with you and your marriage. It’s an old pastime for you both to get picky over Jung’s work. “I swear, he better not put his scenes all over the place like last time, I got whiplash.”
After a quick dinner you all pile into Namjoon’s minivan, making your way to the theatre. The drive is fast, and before you know it you’re waiting in line to get inside. It seems that the PR between the film studio and Big Hit did a good job assisting, because there’s a sizable line despite being half an hour early.
“So honey,” Lisa leans into you, squishing you further into Jungkook’s shoulder. “Did you like, help out with the publishing of this novel? To be honest I don’t even know what your job is,” Lisa admits with a shrug, “you’re not a glorified coffee girl, are you?”
“No,” her mixed enthusiasm never fails to stump you, “Ah, but I really didn’t do much in the production of ‘Rotten Love’,” you reply easily, relaxing into Jungkook as he moves to drape an arm around your shoulder. “I just told my boss to sign some documents n’stuff. It’s really nothing—”
“Babe, are you kidding? You ran the whole freakin’ project!” and you’re in shock, because for the first time in the history of ever, Jeon Jungkook is paying you a real compliment. “It was her first assignment when she got hired as the big boss’ assistant. A lot of people in the office doubted her,” he squeezes your shoulder, “but not for one second did I doubt her, you could see how hard she worked to make it perfect. I heard the boss was really impressed, too.”
You remember that period of time. Jungkook made you dive headfirst into the publishing for ‘Rotten Love’, letting you sink or swim in his decision for keeping you employed. After a full month of meetings, negotiations, and debating whether you should have caffeine IV’ed in your body to save time on eating, you got Jungkook’s evaluation. You remember the stoicism in Jungkook’s frame as he surmised your work, throwing you a flippant “it’s decent” before sending you off to do more work.
Relief flooded your system after those two simple words, because that meant you had a chance and you could keep your job. But this? If what he’s saying is true, you’re on Cloud 9.
“Awh, thanks Kook.” you squeeze his arm, letting your fingers trail down to lace your fingers with his.
Lisa’s face is all scrunched, and she doesn’t hesitate to stretch over you to smush Jungkook’s cheek between her two fingers. Her blue nails dig into his soft skin. “I like him, honey. Keep him, he’s so cute.”
She leaves you alone after that, skipping over to bother Namjoon about buying an extra bucket of popcorn.
“At first I was nervous having you near my family for a week,” you say brightly, rubbing a thumb over his hand, “but I kinda like seeing you try so hard to not rip other people’s heads off.”
He puffs out his cheeks in an attempt to soothe the stinging. “Could be worse, I could be engaged to Karen.”
With that you laugh, loud enough to turn heads and have Jimin and Lisa send you adoring looks. Jungkook sends you a nervous smile, the one that he’d always send you during team meetings when he was unsure of how to respond to something. Instead of giving him a smart answer, you get on your tiptoes to pat his reddened cheek. “But she’s right, you are kinda cute when you wanna be.”
Instead of replying, he squeezes your hand tighter to lead you inside.
Everything is smooth sailing after that. You, Jimin and Yoongi are saving the seats while Jungkook, Lisa and Namjoon are getting the refreshments. Jimin is prattling on about a new job interview and you’re listening attentively, while Yoongi shoots off advice every time Jimin says he’s nervous.
Yoongi looks past Jimin to give you that gummy smile that always made your chest ache. “Chim, remember when she applied to work at Jamba Juice?”
“Oh my god,” Jimin giggles, clutching your arm. “When you had to do a trial run in front of the manager? You forgot to put the lid on the blender and you sprayed the staff with green juice?”
“The stains took forever to get out,” you pouted. “And I didn’t appreciate the snaps you saved of me. I got nervous because you were recording me!”
“Am I hearing some juicy details about your childhood?” Jungkook appears, passing a huge tub of buttery popcorn to Yoongi.
“Emphasis on juice,” Yoongi says tartly, popping a handful of kernels in his mouth.
“Yes, do you wanna see a picture of your fiancé covered in green juice? She wore a low-cut shirt that day so it got deep, man.” Jimin says, using his hands to gesture obscenely to his own chest.
You’re mortified, and you push down Jimin’s phone and cover whatever receipts he has on you. “Jimin, I’d like to stay engaged, if you don’t mind?”
Your not-so-favorite cousin cackles in response, telling Jungkook that they’ll talk later.
“Here,” Jungkook cooly hands you a King-Sized KitKat.
“Awh,” you marvel, immediately opening the wrapper, “you actually read my notes and found out what my favorite candy was?”
He scoffs, dark bangs blowing up. “Who doesn’t like KitKats?” but you’re giving him the look, and he sighs, “C’mon babe, just gimmie a break.”
“Ha-ha,” but you break off a piece anyway, lifting it to Jungkook’s lips. It’s then that the theatre starts to dim, and the telltale signs of the movie begin. “Ready to rip Jung Hoseok to shreds?”
“Always.”
Barely fifteen minutes pass and Jungkook is spreading his legs. You’re about to kick him before he leans in to whisper, “They made Renee too dull,” he sighs in disappointment, as if he sincerely had high hopes they’d bring the novel to justice. “I mean, I get it, in the novel she’s supposed to be a plain Jane. But she isn’t grey.”
“Right?” you lean into Jungkook, throwing your legs over his thighs like you’re back at the airport. This isn’t out of intimacy, you think to yourself, you just need to be close enough to Jungkook so you don’t disturb the other patrons with your talking. “She’s either a bad actress or they messed up her character. I really got upset when I read this part, but it’s kinda bland on the screen.”
As much as you love Jimin, you know he’s not going to get your over-criticality over the media. Yoongi and Namjoon are on the other end of the row, but they wouldn’t be too pleased having you gab over the movie because you’re too much of an aficionado. Jungkook is the only one who can tête-à-tête, or in this case, Kit-a-Kat with you.
You sigh into his shoulder, inhaling his clean scent. “Let’s pray Jung didn’t completely butcher the chapter where Kenzo reflects on his penniless journey.”
“I’ll leave the theatre right then and there if that happens, care to join me?”
“Already out the door, bossman.”
Jungkook looks away from the screen briefly, reaching forward to take an obnoxiously big bite of the KitKat in your hand. You stifle a giggle, and before you can soak up his cheeky grin he’s already looking back at the movie.
You wonder what Jungkook is like outside of work, if he has that side to him. A little part of you wishes that this playfulness he’s exuding is real. Not to your fake marriage, but a playfulness he can execute to a person that he really likes. Two days out of the office and you’re starting to see that Jungkook has the capabilities to enjoy life, however simple it may be.
The movie is finished in a blur, and you and Jungkook are still bickering over the intricacies of the film compared to the novel. The night air is cold and burns your cheeks, reminding you exactly how late you’ve been out.
“Well, I thought the romance was so boring!” Lisa blurted, wanting an in. Her lime green ski jacket glares in your vision, and you move away from her immediately. “No one cheated on each other, there was no drama, or evil best friend!”
“Whoa there,” and you see the little fire in Jungkook’s eyes, one you’ve learned early on to stay away from when you spent hours in his office debating over manuscripts and plotlines. He stares down at Lisa, really stares down. “You think every romance needs some sort of internalized conflict for it to be good? Why can’t they just grow and learn from the external conflict together? It’s literally useless for them to break up over and over just—”
And that’s your cue to walk ahead of them, because while you did agree with Jungkook, you’ve heard this debate one too many times. Ever the closet-romantic at heart. You hope Lisa doesn’t lose her patience and punch him out.
“Hey,” you feel a hand pat your hair, and you look up at Yoongi. He looks absolutely fluffy in his long puffy jacket, and he matches your steps with his. “Do I look ugly tonight, or something? I feel like we barely exchanged two sentences with each other.”
“What, never!” you chastise, “you always look good, Yoongi. And we have the whole week to catch up, remember?”
“Really, then why don’t we go out in two days to pick out a tree for your house? Joon and I are planning on going.”
“I would love to go pick a tree!” you exclaim, “the last time we got a tree together was when your brother had to lift.”
“Great,” and he pats your head again, but this time his hand lingers to finger the ringlets of your hair. “It’ll be just like old times, baby girl. I’ll pick you up at 9.”
Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jungkook’s argument ended minutes ago and he’s mulling over a new type of internal conflict.
“Owie, ow, ow—fuck you! Ow!”
“Well if you just hold still,” Jungkook grimaces, taking his turns with both hands to simultaneously wipe the injury with a cloth and then pressing the affected area with an ice bag.
“Buh ih hurths!” your voice is muffled by the cloth, stained red with freshly bloomed blood.
The ski lodge started off great. You enjoyed a fabulous beligan waffle breakfast courtesy of Jimin’s parents, and then made the trek to the slopes. You’ve been here dozens of times, so you didn’t feel an inclination to gravitate to any of the fancy schmancy sports. You were fine playing shuffleboard inside, but your inner youth complained that it’s the holidays and you should be getting out more.
Jimin and Jungkook (who claimed he hasn't snowboarded since he was 16 yet he’s doing tricks like a goddamn Olympian) were shredding on the slopes while Namjoon and Lisa were skiing on a smaller hill. You and Yoongi watched safely from the lift, riding it like a kiddie attraction. You must’ve taken the lift at least ten times, complaining about how you’re both too lazy to function and you could really use a hot chocolate and a fireplace.
After the fifteenth time on the lift, legs numb, you stumble over with heavy boots to where Lisa and Namjoon were waiting for Jimin and Jungkook. They wanted to walk around more and see if they could try a more difficult slope.
While you were waiting, you had to admit that Jungkook did kind of cool all decked out in his gear. A competitive, playful smile was easily reflected in his gaze despite his helmet and goggles.
That slight admiration is knocked right off your feet when Jungkook speeds by way too close for comfort and you’re in his path. Jimin had already slowed next to your friends and family, looking at you in anticipated horror.
It’s far too late, and despite the fact that Jungkook manages to pull your body to his while you wipe out, your face crashes into his helmet and you taste metal.
Mildly disoriented from the impact, Jungkook’s muffled string of curses nurse you back to a decent consciousness as he tries to carry you to the lodge.
“Holy shit, I got that on camera!” Jimin cries, gesturing to the Go-Pro nestled in his helmet.
So now you’re in pain and it’s all Jungkook’s fault. Your bottom lip is split, and the burn on your face won’t go away.
You watch as Jungkook dotes on you, his bangs pushed up everywhere due to his grey goggles haphazardly being propped upon his forehead. His pink tongue sticks out as he concentrates on not getting blood on your sweater. It’s just you and him that are stuck around in the lodge after you got pummeled, standing by the fire while everyone else continues on with the fun.
“Why were you over there anyway, in the middle of the slope?” he scolds.
“It was the slow down zone, Jeon. You were the only one not slowing down, you speed demon.”
“Sorry,” he says gruffly, pressing a little too hard with the ice and you wince. He lets up and presses the cloth to your lips to soak up the moisture.
“Did you say something?”
“I said, I’m sorry.”
You sigh dramatically, “I wish I had a camera to save that shitty excuse of an apology.”
“Speaking of cameras,” he shucks his phone out of his pocket, handing it to you. “Jimin uploaded the video.”
That man, you don’t know where he has the means to quickly upload and edit things, but if it’s for the ‘Gram, it’s worth it to Jimin. You open Instagram and immediately click on @chimmyboi’s story, immediately wincing as the first few seconds reveal the brunt of the impact. He should really put a disclaimer before uploading content.
The tumble between you and Jungkook doesn’t look so bad, but it’s when you get up does it look gnarly. Your chin is dribbling in red liquid, and Jungkook’s throwing off his helmet and goggles in a panic.
He makes a half-assed snowball where you’re lying on the ground, pressing it against your mouth. With his other hand he pulls you into a sitting position, not caring that you’re staining his clothes as he hauls you on his body.
“Ohmygod,” you splutter, trying not to move your lips, “I look like I got decked with a hockey puck.”
“It wasn’t that bad, don’t be a baby.” Jungkook sees the piecing glare you give him, and he sighs. “Okay, it looked pretty bad. I was a little worried back there, but now the bleeding pretty much stopped and holy shit—stop smiling! You’re making it open up further!”
“You were worried?”
“Shut up.”
The ice bag is watery and not doing much anymore, but Jungkook still insists to cool your face down. You lift a hand to his cold ones, attempting to take the bag and cloth from his grasp.
“You should go board with Jimin and the rest of them. I can take care of this.”
“It’s fine,” he reasons, reaching for the ice bag but you hold on tighter.
“C’mon, I know the only thing you were looking forward to this entire trip was going snowboarding. I’m a big girl, I can be alone for an hour or two.”
Jungkook locks his jaw, gnawing at his cheek as he mulls on his decision. “Wouldn’t I look like a bad partner if I leave you?”
“Nah, this has happened before. Almost always someone gets injured on the trip. Last time something like this happened I was eight and I got five stitches on my leg. This is nothing. You’re fine.”
“But still.”
“Fine, you wanna make it up to me?”
You scan the room for any ideas, and it settles on a trio of girls huddled by the register of the built-in café. They’re pretty snow bunnies, decked out in sweater dresses and fur lined boots. They remind you a little of The Powerpuff Girls, all in pastels and attached to the hip. Their gaze has taken hostage in Jungkook’s frame, blatantly ignoring the fact that majority of his attention is directed towards you. You wonder why you haven’t noticed them sooner, because now the staring is getting borderline discomforting.
Slipping off his goggles with your free hand, you gesture subtly to the girls. “They think you’re hot. Go flirt with them a little and get me a free drink, I’m sure they’ll pay for you.”
He doesn’t understand the correlation, “Why would I do that?”
You shrug, separating the strands of hair that stick to his forehead. “Lisa and Namjoon do it all the time when they go clubbing. They compete and pretend they’re single for like two hours, and then they keep a tally of how many people offer to buy them a drink.”
“That is completely different, but I’m open to trying it when we get back to the city.” he acknowledged briefly, getting up from his crouching position. “I got a better idea.”
Puzzled, you watch him saunter over to the register. Like bees to the honey, the girls follow Jungkook with their eyes, watching him exaggeratedly mull over the menu.
He spares the slightest of head inclinations to the drooling trio, “Hello ladies.” The smile is not flirtatious, but kind.
You suppress a giggle, burying your chin in your scarf as you watch the whole interaction. You don’t even know why you asked Jungkook if he would flirt with those girls, as he kept most of his dates private over the years. You picture a college-aged Jungkook getting his daily breakfast on his way to class, ignoring the way his presence attracts heads.
The barista hands Jungkook a tray filled with a plastic cup of ice, and a cup filled with something hot, and a chocolate croissant. He grabs a straw from a tray, stabbing it in the hot drink’s lid.
“Excuse me,” one of the girls coquettishly puts her hands behind her back, puffing her chest out as she leans over Jungkook’s order. “The regular croissants actually taste better in my opinion.”
“Well my wife’s had a hard day, so I think she deserves something sweet.”
He doesn’t even turn around as he makes a beeline to where you’re seated on a loveseat, carefully placing the tray on the coffee table.
“Your better idea was making them jealous?” you ask, unsure of his intentions.
He shrugs, “College-Jungkook always wanted to show off his girlfriend like that, so indulge me for a second, alright?”
Rolling your eyes you reply, “My life is about indulging you. Don’t forget the trips I’ve made to the grocery store when your personal fridge was out of banana—”
“I thought I said we don’t speak of those hard times,” he cuts you off, “ever.”
You stop him from filling up your ice bag with the ice he brought. “C’mon Jeon, you’re burning daylight out there. I got this. You’ve stalled enough, go have fun in the snow with Jimin, you adrenaline junkie.”
He scrunches his nose, but relents when you throw him his jacket and goggles. Before he pulls on his gloves, he cups your face with both hands to pull you in a kiss. His hands are cold from the ice, gluing you in place in fear of him kissing you too hard. But it’s barely that, a brushing of lips so tender as he takes extra care with your open lip.
“Is this also a self-indulgent request?” you pucker, “who knew there was a hormonal teenager under that editor-in-chief’s body.”
His eyes flicker to the audience in the back, and you don’t need to look behind you to note that they’re glaring daggers in your head. It’s like you’re straight out of a rom-com.
“You’re leaving me to the bunnies,” you say teasingly.
“Then hurry up and get better so you can join us,” he taunts, “or else you can’t help me bury Jimin in the snow.”
It’s a tempting offer that makes you down your drink so you can enjoy the rest of your day.
Light seeps through your windows, rays kissing your eyelashes and willing them to open. You groan, hand splaying out to wake up Jungkook. When you find his space empty and cool, you sit up and search for your fake-fiancé.
He’s on the floor, smack in the middle of his morning workout. Your iPad is under his body, and somehow he’s managed to find a setting where the document scrolls for him automatically. He’s not wearing his Airpods, so you rasp, “Jeon, you’re crazy. I get the morning workout, but you don’t have to look over any more transcripts. I think you’ve read enough for this week.”
“It helps me ignore the burn,” he says shortly, and you see the ripples of his back flex with every push-up. “And I wouldn’t have to do so much reading if my assistant would just do her job.”
“I already told you, I’m not working during my vacation.” you throw off the sheets, padding to your closet. “I’m going to pick the tree today. You should go to the mall with my mom and Jimin to pick out some new ornaments.”
“What?” he gets up, and you ignore the perfect view of tight muscles decorating his abs. Exactly how long was he awake for to have sweat clinging to his shirt? You’re going to short-circuit and it’s barely 8:30. “But I wanna go help pick out the tree.”
“You don’t have to do that, Joon and Yoongi got it.”
“Yoongi, really? You think he can carry a tree?”
“This isn’t a pissing contest, Jeon.” you settle on a burgundy Patagonia jacket and grey leggings. “Besides, Yoongi and I are just friends.”
“You sure about that, baby girl?”
You whip around to poke at his chest, and you ignore how smug he looks. “Do not test me, Jeon. Like you said, I’m with you every step of the way in this marriage. I’m not going to jeopardize that over some childhood crush.”
“Wow, your life is really turning into a Wattpad entry,” he admonishes, “fake-fiancé still pining over his older brother’s best friend, really high-qual stuff.”
“I’m serious.” you grit, “I took a week off so I can get away from you and that was ruined, so I would like a little bit of space today.”
And that gets Jungkook to back away. His face deflates a little, and you feel a little guilty for making him upset, but you stab that thought down and convince yourself that he deserves it. It’s not like he cares about you, he just wants to show off to the boys.
“Fine,” he turns around to put on a fresh shirt, and you almost notice the pout marrying his face. “You could’ve just told me you wanted space. I’m getting kind of tired of you too, you know.”
He flops on the bed and you huff in reply, quickly throwing on your attire inside your closet while he watches a YouTube video. You check your phone, and at 8:59 a knock is at your door. Jungkook doesn’t bother to get up to answer, and you open the door to see a sleepy Yoongi with a paper cup in his hand.
“An English breakfast with two sugars and a dash of milk, baby girl.”
You mask your wince at the pet name. It hadn’t bothered you when you were young, but its starting to feel coddling now that Jungkook is making you hyper-aware of the attention. “Perfect,” you faux-beam, the hot beverage warm your fingers.
“I’ll just warm up the car and—”
“Babeeeeee,” the deepest, sexiest voice echoes from your bed and out in the hallway. He sounds absolutely tempting, and needy. You freeze at the way your boss can so easily pretend he’s exhausted and wanting you, “come back to bedddddd. I’m not done with you yet.”
Yoongi’s ears are red, “Aaand, I’ll let you finish whatever business you have.”
The older man bolts out of there, and you snap your head back to look at an innocent Jungkook. He tilts his head at your bout of anger.
“You know, I have half a mind to fling this tea down your shirt.”
“What?” he looks at you like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “He can’t be the only one who can call you baby.”
Honestly, you didn’t mean to lash out on Jungkook like that. You did need to put up a face as you were each other's significant others, but it doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time. To top it all off you’ve been feeling weird as of late, and you can only attribute these terrible feelings to a certain brunet who’s been sleeping in your bed.
But you pin these feelings for another time, because you need to enjoy what little quality time you have with your brother.
“Hey, whaddya think of this one?” It's just you and Namjoon picking the tree, and Yoongi’s sitting in the cabin keeping warm. He said to call him once you’ve decided, since it is your house.
“Hm, it’s fine.” you shrug, inhaling the pine. “Maybe a little too tall.”
Namjoon nods, and you follow him to the next row of greenery. He’s been pensive this whole time, and you have a feeling he’s hiding something. Surrounded by pine and the fresh winter air he says, “Hey, I just wanna say sorry.”
“Why, did you like that tree over there? I don’t mind it, we can go back!”
“What, no? I’m sorry for being weird around Jungkook.”
“Huh?” sure, you noticed the weird language and terseness he gave Jungkook initially, but you chalked it out as big brother issues.
You two continue to walk around the forest aimlessly, not really tree hunting.
“I was just upset that the engagement was so sudden,” Namjoon starts, and you feel the guilt start to set camp in your stomach. “And I don’t know, at first he just didn’t seem like your type? I always thought you wanted to date someone gentle, someone you could hold and depend on. He looked so serious, and maybe a little immature.”
“He is a little immature,” you agree softly, digging your boots in the snow, “but I don’t love him any less because of it. We’re growing together.” Shit, why was that so easy for you to say?
“Figured,” and Namjoon stops to place a hand on your shoulder, “I see the way he looks at you, and you can’t fake love like that.”
Namjoon’s admonition is so convincing that you almost convince yourself that it is something.
Something is bothering Jungkook, and he doesn’t know why.
It’s not the billions of charges he made on his credit card for new ornaments, because it simultaneously inflated his ego and impressed your mom.
It’s not the way Jimin hangs onto his every word and doesn’t let up, because it is refreshing to have your cousin find a genuine interest in him.
Jungkook, Jimin and your mom have been taking laps around the mall for the past hour. They’ve floated around here and there, picking out whatever catches their eye for the tree.
Jimin’s in the middle of explaining the Jamba Juice story when a glimmering window display catches his eye.
“Hun, have you not bought her a present yet?” your mom says over his shoulder.
“No,” he exhales, embarrassed that he just admitted he didn’t think of getting you anything in front of your mom. “She doesn’t ask for anything, really.” Besides her book published, a raise, and a potential promotion as editor, but they didn’t need to know that much.
“Good thing you’re with the right people!” Jimin cheers, ushering him into the jewelry store.
Funny enough, he knows exactly what to get you. Once he points it out, Jimin and your mom “ooh” and “aah” respectively, agreeing that what he chose was perfect. If you had asked Jungkook a week ago what kind of jewlery you like, he’d give you a dumb look and say “something shiny.” But that’s what’s bothering him. He just walked right into the store, saw what was right, and everything just clicked.
Jungkook pins that thought for later, because once their shopping is done they’re back at your villa, arranging the ornaments and detangling the lights that have been holed up in the closet for eleven months.
Jimin and he are sitting on the living room floor, stabbing thread through popcorn. He really only saw this craft in the movies, and the small part of him is amazed that you and your family go through the hard work to make your holidays so warm.
Your mom appears from her bedroom, clutching something in her hand. She sits in front of Jungkook, a huge smile on her face.
“Before you say anything,” and it strikes him how similar you are to your mother. There’s that tone he always receives before he gets new news, or the way you’re eager to share something that will make him happy. “I don’t want you to think this is a luxurious gift or anything. But I realized that you don’t have a wedding band so I went through my old cases and found this.”
She opens her palm slowly, revealing a simple black band.
Jungkook’s lips part to form words, but his vocal cords betray him. At first glance, this ring could’ve been mistaken for one of Jimin’s plentiful rings adorning his fingers. Upon closer inspection however, Jungkook notes that this band is thinner and more worn. The metal looks strong and old, the slight scratches and faded color revealing that it was a well-loved piece of jewelry.
Your mom is offering Jungkook a wedding band.
“If you don’t like it, that’s okay!” your mom says quickly, nerves radiating because of Jungkook’s silence. “It was my grandfather’s. Don’t feel as if you have to accept it. It’s not a wedding band persay, but I think it matches and it looks about your size and we didn’t get you a Christmas gift so—”
“It’s perfect.” Jungkook tells her firmly, sending him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, I guess we kind of rushed the engagement so I didn’t think of getting a band of my own.”
Your mother is grateful, dropping the ring in Jungkook’s awaiting palm. “I think my daughter should be the one who puts it on you, don’t you think?”
“Right,” he echoes, and he just stares at the ring in his hand, feeling weird in his chest. He can’t remember the last time someone put this much thought in getting him something this significant. He can’t accept this ring, but he can’t refuse it either. “I could never find something with this much value from a little shop in New York, so thank you.”
“Oh, and while we’re on the topic of New York,” Jimin puts down his completed popcorn wreath, “y/n said she already put in her off days for Easter, so you should too. It’ll be at my place this year, and I live by an indoor skydiving zone. She mentioned you’re an adrenaline junkie.”
“She also mentioned that your birthday’s in September.” your mom pops in, “We were thinking we could take Friday off and stop by for the weekend. I’ve always wanted to see Hamilton!”
Jungkook knows they’re trying to cheer him up. They’re trying to make him feel part of the family, feel wanted. But he can’t remember the last time he’s felt wanted unless it’s for a book deal or a business exchange. It’s been so long since he’s felt this warm, and he didn’t realize how much he yearned for it until he proposed to you.
“Hey man,” Jimin puts an arm around his trembling shoulders, “are you alright?”
“Fine,” he’s crying, and doing a shit job at hiding the tears. “It’s alright, I just,” he can’t even find the strength to get up and walk away from this. Is it pathetic that he’s breaking down in the comfort of your cousin and mom, starved for affection? “I just, I miss my family. It’s just the four of us, but they’re all the way in Korea and it’s been awhile since I’ve really celebrated anything with them. They visit sometimes but it’s not the same, y’know? And work is so stressful but I’m not in a position to say that. And your family is just so, so nice and it makes me miss them even more. You’re all so lucky to support each other like this.”
Jimin and your mom sandwich him like an Oreo. It’s almost funny, how two smaller humans are comforting this big human and not the other way around. “Poor baby, it’s your family too.”
Pathetic. It’s pathetic how much he wishes to have a family like yours, but he can’t have that.
“Can we please not tell y/n about this?” Jungkook wishes, leaning his head on your mom’s. “She’s going through a lot right now with work and stuff, I’d rather just talk to her about this after the holidays, if that’s okay.”
“It’s quite alright, sweetheart,” your mom runs a hand through his hair, and his eyes automatically flutter closed, “just remember, your feelings matter too, okay?”
You and Jungkook slip into bed at the same time, murmuring half-hearted “how was your days” and brief descriptions of your outings. It’s a little awkward considering the morning’s events, but not unbearable.
“The tree smells really nice,” Jungkook tries, looking up from his phone.
“Yeah, makes the whole room smell like Christmas.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you have a good time shopping, find anything good?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s nice.”
[11:29] Jimin: hey, you know my room’s right next to yours right?
[11:29] Jimin: we share a goddamn wall and im NOT hearing shit
[11:29] Jimin: are you putting that baby blanket to good use ;)
[11:30] You: YOU”REE DISGUSTING are we even family!!!! Can i disown a first cousin??
[11:30] Jimin: i’m just sayin.. U said it was fantastic
You throw your phone away, letting it slide off to the mattress and onto the baby blanket. Yes, the baby blanket is unfortunately here to stay. Over the course of three days, the quilt is like a ball in a tennis match between you and your mother. You’ve given up and just kept it on the floor.
“I have a question,” you say aloud, motioning to your bed partner.
“Shoot.”
“Was it true when you said I was the only girl you knew well enough to be your wife?”
“Of course, that’s why we’re here.”
“I’m just wondering, because I really thought you could pick any girl in the office to be yours.” you stuff your hands under the covers, playing with your ring. “I mean, you’re kinda-sorta handsome. You could’ve picked someone just as pretty and they would have studied your whole life story for you.”
Jungkook's phone falls in his lap, and he looks at you like you’ve lost a couple brain cells. “Normally, I would eat up the fact that you admitted I was attractive. But do you realize you’re just as beautiful, if not more?”
What?
“I know it’s unprofessional, but how professional can we get when we’re married, but you’re the whole package, y/n.” and he says it with such fervor, you can’t formulate a response. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. No one else can take my shit and throw it right back in my face, or debate with me for hours on end about a novel’s direction. Only you can do that.”
“I’m sorry,” you shake your head, “thanks, you’re right. I’m just clouded, and stressed. And Jimin’s being an ass and it’s really bothering me.”
His chocolate eyes flicker in the darkness of your bedroom, making note of your phone on the floor. “What’d he say?”
“It’s stupid, he said that he thinks it’s weird he hasn’t heard us bang all week,” you force a laugh, “it’s my fault though, he wouldn’t get off my back so I gave up and told him the sex was fantastic.”
“Are you worried he’s unconvinced?”
“A little, maybe? I don’t know.” you’re wrinkling your bedsheets now, turning the cotton into putty as your sweaty palms wring at the edge.
“I don’t mind giving him a show.” Jungkook blurts, and you instinctively pull the covers closer to your chest, even though you’re fully clothed.
“What, like fake moan into the wall?”
“There are things you can do over the clothes,” he says matter-of-factly, pulling the sheet of his bedside down slightly. “And you just said you’re stressed. I’d be a bad fiancé to not let you relieve some of that tension.”
Jungkook opens his arms and gestures for you to get on his lap. Your body is hot all over, and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re horrified or aroused. Maybe a little of both.
“Are you kidding—you’re my boss!”
“And we’re consenting adults!” he narrows his eyes at you, “don’t say you’ve never thought about it before.”
And the sick, twisted part of you has, a lot. There’s something about a man in a tailored suit and owning up to its power that’s really attractive. Not to mention all those times they’d be traveling for work, stumbling for a quick McDonald's bite at 12AM and he’d be dressed casually in tight black jeans and combat boots. The energy really kept you on your toes.
“Wow, I really hate late-night talks. All the secrets come out, don’t they?”
“If it makes you feel better, your ass looks great in pencil skirts,” you turn to him with flared eyes, “what? I’m just trying to let you know I mayhaps find you attractive.”
“Mayhaps you should stop talking before I regret this.”
His eyebrows lift and disappear from his bangs, the hair freshly dried and fluffy from his late night shower. He then pats his lap with a little blasé as if to say “hop on”, and you ignore the way how good the seat looks, his boxer briefs doing nothing to hide his unmentionables.
Trying to fight alongside your last drop of dignity, you take your time.
“C’mon y/n, don’t make it weird.”
“It’s been weird, Jeon! Jimin’s next door!” you hiss, backing away slightly, “Give me some time, I can’t just hump my boss!”
“You’re not humping your boss.” Jungkook has the audacity to grin, the expression looking absolutely sinful in the moonlight. “Think of it as your lover wanting to make you feel good.”
The bridge between love and hatred is a fine, fine line stemmed by passion.
Careful, you lift your blankets up and slip out of them, moving to sit up. It’s ridiculous, tiptoeing around your bed to avoid any sudden creaks in the aged wood of your mahogany headboard.
“We’re out to prove to your family we fuck on the reg,” Jungkook snips, “you can make noise.”
Within seconds, he’s hauling you on his lap. You squeak in surprise, feeling the thin material of his boxers seep through your thin silk shorts. You wriggle around, monitoring Jungkook’s expression. He does not allude too much, but you take note of the way Jungkook secures you with his hands between the swells of your thighs.
“I’m not a rollercoaster, stop adjusting like you’re gonna buckle up.”
Jungkook’s dry humor lightens the mood considerably, and you can’t help but smile timidly at his attempt to make you feel at ease. He lets you take your time, and you never imagined someone so demanding in the office can be so… kind in bed.
You dip forward to kiss his lips once, twice. He looks needy, but lets you set the pace. You appreciate that. You’re salivating at his willingness to make you feel good, and you whimper as he nibbles on a sensitive spot on your neck.
You need more. Sensing your urgency when you jerk his chin up, he muffles your sounds with a harsh kiss, taking care to moan deeply into your mouth. The heat is luxurious on this winter night, burgundy kisses exchanged between the sheets like secrets. His tongue slips between your teeth, tasting every inch of you and exploring you like the deepest texts.
He pulls away slightly, and you’re drowning in his gaze. “Am I still just kinda-sorta handsome now?” he nips at your neck, sucking on a spot between your jaw.
“N-no,” and you pull him up by the chin, taking in his messy hair and glazed eyes, “you’re fucking sexy,” and you tug your mouth to his once more.
You don’t even realize that you’re rolling your hips until Jungkook breaks the kiss in favor of grabbing your hips, making sure your core is nestled perfectly between his hardening length. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to get wet, and the silk glides easily between your thighs like butter.
“That’s it, baby girl,” he encourages, one hand reaching up to cup your breast, “use me, make yourself feel good.”
“Please, don’t call me that,” you whine against his mouth, trying to keep the mood in, “Babe is fine, but baby girl makes me feel like a little kid and I’m not a little kid.”
“You damn right,” and he lifts his hips to meet yours in a sharp thrust, and you gasp hotly into his mouth. It’s too late to muffle your moans, not when you’re drenched with two pathetic pieces of fabric stopping the both of you. “You’re a gorgeous, intelligent, strong, amazing woman.”
With every compliment, he does all the work, thrusting with each adjective like he’s blessing poetry into your body.
“J-Jungkook,” the name is muffled against his shoulder, too fuzzed in ecstasy to be embarrassed by the drool coating his tank top. His hair tickles your shoulder as he nips at your clothed breasts, swirling around your nipple. “I-I, m’gonna come,”
“You’re almost there huh?” and he slips a hand between you two to find that sweet spot, swirling designs between your shorts. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
And you’re shaking, collapsing into his embrace as he rides out your high. He cradles one hand in your hair as you rub furiously against his other, chasing your pleasure like a starved animal.
“K-Kook,” you murmur into his neck, finding the strength to roll your hips one more time to check. “You’re still hard, do you want me to help?”
“No.” he’s forthright, and as tired as you are, you force yourself to pick your head up. Sweat lines his brow and his face is flushed, but he’s already helping you off and handing you a tissue from the nightstand.
“What?” you’re hurt, and don’t want to admit why.
“Don’t feel like you need to,” he grunts into your forehead, dipping a chaste kiss right in the center. “Just let me do something nice to you for once.”
As much as you want to, you don’t complain as he tucks you in. You don’t complain when you see a wet stain on his Kirby boxer briefs. You don’t answer back when he checks his phone one more time and pulls you in to press a kiss to your cheek. It’s 12:31.
“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs into your skin, and turns over so his back faces you.
Christmas is a loud and eager affair. The entirety of your family piles into your house while still in pajamas, aunts and uncles from other villas running in with their children with their newly opened toys and gadgets. There’s a buffet style breakfast piled on the kitchen island, and you’re all eating in the living room while watching holiday movies.
Jungkook melds right in, unsurprisingly. He has your baby cousin Dante in his lap, teaching him how to use the controls of his new Nintendo Switch.
Despite only meeting Jungkook a few days ago, you notice that some of your family have taken the liberty of giving him small presents. You spot a simple silver chain around his wrist, courtesy of Jimin, and a fluffy grey scarf wrapped around his neck, courtesy of your aunt’s impeccable knitting club.
“He fits right in, doesn’t he?”
Yoongi hands you your usual cup of tea, and you accept it gratefully. You’re sitting right next to the tree, and you notice that some of the ornaments are miniature books. You absentmindedly run your fingers over the carved wood, especially on the ones that are your favorite titles.
“Yeah,” you hate to admit, so you whisper it into your mug. But Yoongi can hear, he always does. “I didn’t think it would be this easy.”
“Easy to love him, or easy to fit into this family?”
You splutter into your mug, and Yoongi does the right thing by patting your back. It feels a little bit like he’s burping a baby, but otherwise, it soothes your lungs.
“I am happy for you, you know.” he says, knocking knees with you. “It might not seem like it now, but I truly am.”
Deciding not to dwell on his subversive confession, you thank him for the tea and excuse yourself. Dante seems like he’s got the hang of MarioKart, so you tug Jungkook by the hand and lead him back into your bedroom.
“I got you a present, but I didn’t feel like making a scene about it,” you pull out a pink gift bag, tufts of white tissue paper sticking out. “Also, it’s kinda cheap and it was a last minute thing, so don’t have any high expectations.”
“Gee, you’re really making me feel deserving of this gift,” but he takes his time in unraveling the bag anyway.
He pulls out a shiny onyx black mug, rolling it between his hands. On one side it’s engraved in gold cursive “World’s Best Boss” but on the other side it’s engraved, “World’s Best Husband”.
“Subtle,” he grins, pulling you into a hug. He gets that it’s a gag gift, but because it’s from you, it's a lot more meaningful. You could’ve easily delved into his bank accounts and see what he buys for himself, but you decided to take the more personal route.
“Thanks,” he murmurs into your hair. And to really throw you off he says, “For my gift, I’ve decided to publish your novel.”
You shove him away as if you’ve been stung, and you barely have the voice to ask, “Are you serious, you’ve read my novel? I didn’t even send you the first draft!”
“We share the same Google Drive, it was easy to find. If you had noticed, it’s the only thing I’ve been reading this week,” he shrugs as if it’s nothing, but he’s in actuality giving you your lifelong dream. “You deserve it, really. I’m sorry if you felt like it wasn’t ready to be read. But it was wonderful, you’re a real wordsmith.”
“I’m not upset,” you can’t be, not when he smells so good and he’s trying to hug you all over again. “How many copies?”
“10,000.”
“20,000.”
“15,000, and I’ll even give you permission to dedicate your novel to me.” he raises his brows irreverently.
You scoff at his arrogance, but you don’t admit to confessing that along with professors and your family, you would be dedicating it to him. “Well my gift feels like absolute shit,” you deadpan, “can I have a do-over tomorrow? We can go to the mall or something.”
“You’ve done enough for me,” he disagrees, breaking away from you to place the mug on your desk. “Agreeing to my farfetched proposal, letting me into your home. I think that’s an amazing gift.”
“You’ve been way too nice,” you look at him wearily, noting the rosiness in his cheeks.
“You say that like it’s not possible!”
“Who knows? Maybe the Christmas spirit has performed a miracle, who am I to judge?” and you can’t get enough of the man, running into his heart one more time. Pressing your ear to his chest you sing, “Well, in the Poconos they say, that Jeon Jungkook’s heart grew three sizes that day.”
It may have not grown three sizes, but if the living room wasn’t so loud, maybe you could’ve heard his heart beating three times as fast.
The calm after the storm is your favorite part of Christmas. Most of your extended family has left to mull in their own homes, leaving your family to laze around until it’s just you and Jungkook that are awake.
Jim Carrey’s version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas is playing on Netflix, arguably the only superior rendition of the children's book. The tree is still glowing by the fireplace, soft white lights trickling in the darkened room.
Earlier in the night, you and Jungkook had cuddled up in the middle of the couch under a blanket, and were too lazy to move even when the entirety of your family vacated. Either of you could’ve easily shoved each other off and went to bed, but here you are, making offhand comments over hot cocoa. Each second that passes by, you’re more aware of how well you two sink between the fabric like you’re meant to do this. The domesticity terrifies you, but you don’t dare to point it out.
“How does his face do that?” Jungkook turns to you, contorting his face into funny expressions. It’s a poor attempt at the green creature on the screen, but it makes your mouth twitch and you fight the urge to giggle. “It’s like he’s made of rubber.”
“He has a sense of humor, unlike some people.”
“Very funny,” he says, turning away to take a sip of his cooca.
Sinking further into the couch, you unconsciously latch onto him more, savoring his body heat. “Can I confess something?”
“What’s up?”
“A week ago, I loathed you. I used to have recurring dreams about you getting run over by a Wonderbread truck. And I was driving the truck.”
“Wow, that makes me feel so much better.”
“No really, if I had the opportunity to watch you get hit by a cab, I would’ve paid for it.”
“If it were possible for me to file for divorce at this very second, now would be time. You are a walking red flag.”
“Okay, but!” you shush him with a finger to your lips, and he goes cross-eyed at the touch. “After seeing your stellar performance this week and an impeccable display of human emotion. I think after all of this, we could be friends.”
“Fwends?” he says through your finger, mouth smushed. “Why whuh we?”
Instead of lifting your finger right away, you swipe at his cherry lips, getting rid of the marshmallow sticking to the corners.
“Because we get along.” you say simply.
“Because we’re supposed to be getting married.”
“No! We’ve always gotten along! We’ve just been too up our asses to notice!” you sit up, appalled. “Here’s my theory, a change of setting has suddenly spurred on your character development—”
“—y’know I really don’t appreciate your use of literary jargon, it’s really pretentious—”
“—because without your external conflict, you have a chance to let loose and enjoy your life for once!”
Jungkook frowns, adjusting his frame so he slightly hovers you. He’s pretty like this, dressed in fluffy black pajamas and his face soft. His eyes absorb the Christmas fairy lights, and you notice for the first time in two years that there are no longer purple bags under his eyes.
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, voice so small you wonder if he’s worried to crush the moment. “Friends are hard.”
You shake your head vehemently, “Friends are easy, keeping them is the hard part.”
He doesn’t know why he’s being so weird about this. You’ve worked for him for over two years, you know him as well as you know your skincare routine, down to the last detail.
“Jeon, don’t think too hard about this,” you try to get him to lighten up, the intense look in his eyes throwing you in for a loop. It makes the little hamster wheel in your head spin rapidly, and you wonder if you’re really crossing a line. “Jimin said you had a really good time yesterday, I was almost jealous I couldn’t come shopping with you.”
He cracks a smile at that, “Yeah, Jimin and I shared a moment,” and he leans down to the shell of your ear, “and he said he really enjoyed our moment last night.”
“Oh my god!” you grab a nearby throw pillow, chucking the rough fabric in his face.
He breaks into a laugh, but not the wine and dine chuckles that he’d have between terse negotiations for work. It’s a full out giggle, like he’s proud to have riled you up enough to break your resolve. Who knew your angry face could be so cute?
“I guess if we’ve crossed a line, might as well make it all the way to the end,” Jungkook says easily, running a hand through his chocolate tresses.
You and Jungkook are leaving the day after tomorrow. Most of your stuff is packed and ready to go, and you’re currently spending the rest of your night at a sit-down dinner with your immediate family plus Jimin.
It’s peaceful, you muse. Jungkook even offered to help cook. Back at Big Hit not once did he ever bring leftovers from home, always insisting you order something for him during work. Kimchi fried rice is a simple dish, but Jungkook had taken great care in making sure it was cooked properly and adjusted to your family’s tastes.
Your parents are glowing and enjoying their time with the whole family, a rarity that grows more valuable with age. The meal soothes you like a balm, reminding you of old conversations that had you spew milk out of your nose or Namjoon accidentally spilling beans on your lap.
“Oh, you should also clear your schedule for the first week of September,” Jimin says absentmindedly, shoving another mouthful of fried rice. “Besides Easter, Jungkook says we can celebrate his birthday and visit for the weekend.”
“Seriously,” Namjoon balks, sitting up straight as he regards you in disbelief. “You’re sure your Devil of a boss will enjoy you out of his chains for two vacations, god forbid you take the holidays off again.”
The grip on your fork tightens, but you steel yourself. Honestly, you were wondering why it took Namjoon this long to let it all out. He was always vehemently against your job, as he was the person who got the brunt of your vents when you were stressed. Probably for the sake of Christmas he let it go, but now that it’s over, the topic’s fair game.
“Oh, c’mon Joonie,” your mother frowns, “not at the table.”
“He isn’t that bad, Joon.” you reason, completely ignoring Jungkook as you stare straight at your brother. “He means well—”
“Means well?” Namjoon barks a laugh, as if it’s the most laudable thing. “Sis, you cried everyday for a straight month after you were hired.” he places his hands on the table, regarding you carefully, “I had to personally call your doctor in New York to get you sleeping pills, and not to mention that two weeks ago, you were crying again because you were worried he forgot your vacation and would make you work! Don’t tell me he ‘means well’ when I’ve been busy picking up the pieces!”
At this point, you’re livid. Jungkook’s right here, and while you can’t go ahead and out the fact that he is your boss, you can still have his back.
They don’t know that you’ve picked the pieces back up, reinforced yourself to create a better version of the person you once were.
“He does mean well,” you cry, matching your brother’s red tone to a T. “He’s just stressed and genuinely cares about the company. I choose to work long hours because he takes his time in making sure the work we publish is worthwhile, and I support that. He’s hard on me because he knows I have potential. He’s going to make sure I succeed.”
Namjoon looks at you like you’ve grown two heads. “You’re seriously defending your shitty boss?”
Jimin puts a hand over Namjoon’s in an attempt to placate him, but he shoves it away.
“Honestly,” Namjoon spits venom, “how can you possibly stand to be around someone who makes your life so miserable?”
Your meal has gone cold, and your fists clutch desperately at your jeans. The breath is robbed from your lungs, and you can’t look at anyone for fear of them regarding you with guilt. You know since the day you got hired that your family wasn’t exactly enthused at your boss’ level of expectation and work output. But they don’t know the industry, and they don’t even really know Jungkook past the surface level. .
But you know in their eyes, they’re right. Their daughter left their comfy home to pursue her lifelong dream, only for it to be broken in a matter of weeks. It’s natural to feel protective, and while you’re resilient and were able to get it together as of late, it wasn’t enough for them to understand. As someone who loves you, it’s obvious they’d want to blame your boss, blame Jungkook for your suffering.
You imagine your father would ask Namjoon to step outside, or your parents would make Jimin pull you and Jungkook out. Neither of those things happen.
A warm, large hand is placed on top of yours. You look towards Jungkook, face unreadable as he squeezes your thigh.
“Namjoon’s right.” Jungkook utters, pressing his lips together. “You deserve to be treated with respect. The boss has never appreciated the hard work you do, at least not out loud. You’re too good for him.”
“Jungkook,” you gape, putting your other hand over his.
He pulls away at your touch, glancing at the clock. “This dinner was wonderful,” he says gently, looking apologetic to your parents. “Excuse me, but I promised to call my parents at this time.”
The excuse is completely half-assed, but no one says anything as he leaves, walking out the door without a coat. The table is terse, with your parents attempting to coax out dessert while Jimin clears the dinner table. You refuse to look at Namjoon, who has no idea why you’re so upset. You wait five minutes before you mumble about getting Jungkook a jacket.
However, when you open the door he isn’t sitting on the porch. He’s all the way up the street, too far for you to be heard with a yell, and walking farther into town. The black hoodie falls to your side, disappointed.
Jungkook does in fact, call his parents. Your mother suggested it when she gave him the ring, thinking it would ease his homesickness if he made a better effort to communicate his feelings.
And so he spends over an hour huddled in a cafe, talking about nothing and everything with his mom and dad. He tells them about the little novelties he’s experienced this week, like making popcorn strings and picking out themed Christmas ornaments. He tells him how he promises to book a flight back to Korea as soon as his work visa goes through. While he doesn’t mention the proposal, he mentions you. He prattles on and on about how strong and beautiful you are, and how you’ve crept up on him and made him realize how awful of a person he was.
His mom prattles excitedly through the line, saying that women make you realize how much better you can be for them, but she doesn’t know the half of it.
Jungkook sat there in your dining room, Namjoon boldly telling you off about how miserable he’s made you.
And yet still, you defended him in ways he never imagined. Your relationship has always been mutual, and prickly at best. You balanced each other out, but he knows he doesn’t deserve you. When he first hired you, he rendered you indispensable like all the other assistants that couldn’t handle it. You’d break eventually.
And you did break. But you picked up the pieces and put yourself back together, and you didn’t resent him for it. He hated that. How can you trust someone who’s hurt you so much?
He can’t let you go through with this marriage. You’re wrong. You don’t need him to be successful.
[11:09] You: mom unlocked the door for you. Jimin and i went out for drinks so idk when ill be back
[11:09] You: please don’t be mad at me
Silly girl, why would he ever be mad at you?
His plan is simple, Sneak into your villa, grab his luggage, and try to book the earliest flight back to New York. Then, he can come clean to Taeyeon and spend the year in Korea while they work out his visa issues. He’ll quietly pack his things and clear out the office before Monday. Hopefully by the time he makes it to Busan, he can forgive himself. He’s going to regret missing your expression when you get to hold the first physical copy of your novel.
This plan proves difficult when he sees Namjoon waiting outside for him, sitting on his luggage and reading a book. His long legs are splayed across the porch, and he doesn’t spare Jungkook a glance.
“Knew something was off,” the older man doesn’t look up from his novel, “found the mug on her desk, bossman.”
Muttering a curse under his breath Jungkook opens his arms, “Are you gonna beat me up now?”
“What? No, I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Jungkook scoffs, and watches Namjoon roll his luggage to the back of the van. “And out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll save you the Lyft fare and drive you to the airport.”
Is he that predictable? He flinches at the sudden jet of the ignition, and he takes heavy, snow-laden steps to the passenger seat. Once buckled in, Namjoon tosses the book in his lap. “Some light reading for the drive.”
If Namjoon wasn’t the driver, he wouldn’t hesitate to chuck the book at his big, intelligent head. Instead, he glowers, clutching the book tightly. It’s only when they round the corner to a house brightly decorated with lights, does he see what novel Namjoon’s plucked.
A Mutually-Assured Attachment. Jungkook tosses the book back and forth between his palms, noting the soft cover is so worn it could melt apart in his lap. It feels tended and loved from years of use.
It’s Jungkook’s first novel, and you had a copy. One of the first editions, if he remembers the cover art correctly. Granted, he thought you had some of his books purely because of your job, but not one from your childhood. Frankly he thought this should have never been published, but he was nineteen and that in itself was a large feat.
He carefully peels the pages, and takes out his phone to shine the flashlight mode. At the very front, blood red ink is scratched next to the title: “this is THE most pretentious title i’ve read in my life! Don’t disappoint me jeon!!”
Your handwriting’s all over the place. He sees graphite, gel, and glitter pens mark the margins, as if you’ve come back each time to write something new. The annotations vary, from “this part sucks” to “shit, that’s good i should do that”. You draw little pictures of the objects he’s contrived, from the little brass locket one character cherishes to the facial expressions you imagine they hold.
And at the very end, your handwriting sits neat and bold on the inside cover: I can do better than him.
Jungkook chuckles to himself, turning off the light. You’re always right.
Namjoon senses the younger one is done, and he clears his throat. “I really really don’t understand what she sees in you.”
“I don’t understand either,” Jungkook agrees easily, his finger tracing your handwriting. He muses that you were always out to get him, even if you didn’t know it.
Namjoon masks his surprise by clearing his throat. “But I’d rather seek to understand than live the rest of my life having my sister resent me. I don’t really know what you two are going through, but if she trusts you with her life, I’ll try. Emphasis on try.”
“I don’t deserve your trust.”
“You damn right you don’t,” succumbing to his impulses Namjoon makes a sharp turn, and Jungkook holds his stomach together before it flies out the window.
You come home to find your room cold and barren. All of Jungkook’s things are gone, except your Christmas mug.
You at least thought Jungkook would spare you a goodbye before he ditched you. You hoped you’d at least consider each other friends who provide explanations after all of this.
Lifting the mug off the desk, you hear a little clink in the glass, the chime unfamiliar. Hurriedly, you pour out its contents. A heavy, tungsten black ring lands in your palm. You clench the metal between your fingers, hugging it to your chest.
Mind made up, you dash out to the hallway, nearly bumping into your cousin. At the same time you and Jimin blurt, “We need to go to the airport.”
Apparently Namjoon warned Jimin that something fishy’s going on. Namjoon didn’t know what, but he had the inkling that Jungkook was hiding something. Once Jimin received the text to meet them at the airport, he flung you in his sedan and floored it. Flushed with adrenaline, Jimin is speeding with a fervor you’ve never experienced.
“Can you please, take the edge off and tell me what the hell is going on?”
Just like how Jungkook didn’t want Big Hit to go down the drain, you didn’t want this week to be in vain. You can’t wait a year for Jungkook to come back, and you didn’t want to publish your first novel without him by your side.
“Long version or short version?”
“The in-the-middle version. I don’t think I have the brain capacity to absorb all your drama right now but I really need some answers.”
“O-kay. Basically, Jungkook isn’t a Literary Agent. He’s my god-awful boss. Or was awful, I don’t know. Jungkook left the country before his work visa was fully processed. That’s a breach, so he needs to live in Korea for a year to come back. But he can’t run Big Hit remotely, so he proposed to marry me to attain citizenship.”
Your head whips to the dashboard and you cry out, barely stopping the impact with your hands.
“Sorry, sorry!” Jimin’s eyes are focused on the red light, absolutely terrified. “Bitch, you’re committing fraud with your boss! You could go to jail, that’s like, the hottest love story ever!”
“But he’s going back to Korea because now he suddenly realized he can forge basic human connection.” you mutter, “so no, we’re not going to jail because he’s decided to do the right thing.”
“So what you’re saying is, Jungkook has achieved self-actualization and decided to peacefully move to Korea and sacrifice the company for you.” Jimin is carving his free hand in the air, gesturing wildly. “Don’t you see! He really likes you.”
“Yeah, so now we need to go to the airport and tell his dumbass this isn’t the time to be selfless.”
Once you find a spot you’re rushing out of the car, weaving between carts and people to find the correct terminal. This airport is much smaller than JFK, so it’s easy for you to navigate and get past the TSA. It also helps that Jin’s wife is an attendant.
“He chose the 1:45 flight in Terminal 31A,” Mijoo chirps from her tablet, leading you in the right direction. She’s dressed impeccably, the odds and ends of this airport glued together by her impeccable organization. She points to the clock, which glares a digital 1:18AM. “You have time.”
“Thank you Mijoo,” you exhale gratefully, “and I’m so so sorry I skipped your wedding!”
“This is the 300th time you’ve said it,” Mijoo rolls her eyes, pushing you and Jimin forward, “But I’ll make sure not to miss your wedding.”
You’re sweating from your down jacket, and you can’t believe it’s really all come down to this. The one person you’ve spent the last two years of your life doting on, and you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him not just for the publication of your novel, but because you needed him.
Jungkook’s sitting in the waiting area of Terminal 31A, looking wholly inconspicuous as he reads a book and has his hood propped up.
Fists balled, you stride forward only to have Jimin tug you back. “What?”
Jimin pulls off your thick coat, making haste to wipe the sweat off your brow with his sleeves and flatten your messy hair. “What?” he tilts his head to the side, “you need to look good before the big confrontation. I’m recording this for archival purposes. Do you have any lip balm by any chance? You look chapped.”
You slap his hands away, but those grubby fingers just come back with a vengeance. “My life is just a big show to you, isn’t it?”
“Living vicariously all day, every day.”
While Jimin parts your bangs, the intercom cuts through the air.
“The 1:45 flight to John F. Kennedy International airport will now commence boarding. Please line up according to the ticket class.”
Jimin smiles at you, squeezing your shoulders and gestures for you to go. To your horror, Jungkook is first in line. Panic bubbles to your throat.
“Jeon Jungkook!” you cry, voice echoing throughout the terminal. “If you so much breathe in the direction of that plane I will call Mark Lee right this second and tell him the book series is off!”
Like a deer in the headlights, Jungkook heeds to your voice immediately. In his stupor you jog forward to snatch his wrist and pull him out of line. You don’t let go until you’re away from the long line, and Jungkook tugs his wrist away.
“Don’t you dare call him,” Jungkook looks serious, as if you didn’t drive all the way to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. “I will never forgive you if you terminate Mark Lee’s contract.”
“And I won’t forgive you if you get on that plane.”
Pain flashes in his eyes, and he shakes his head. “I need to. I can’t let us—let you go through with this. You and your family deserve better.”
“What? Jungkook, I agreed to this just as much as you did.”
“No, you didn’t.” he’s adamant, and steps back with every step you take forward. “As your boss I threatened you, held it over your head like an ultimatum. I’ve hurt you,” his voice cracks, looking at you desperately, “why would you want to be stuck with me when I’ve made your life miserable?”
“If I really wanted to leave, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” You reason, “Do you really want to leave the company behind? To fucking Karen?”
“Of course I don’t!” Jungkook exclaims, “but it isn’t worth hurting you, hurting your family and everyone that loves you.”
“And what about you? You’ll be hurt when you leave,” and you step forward, so close that your chests are touching. You take hold of his hands, clutching them between your small ones. “Don’t go, stay with me in New York. We’ll both work hard and try to not run each other to the ground. Let’s be better together.”
You’re practically begging, biting your lip raw and hoping Jungkook understands how good this change is for the both of you.
Jungkook is conflicted, looking back and forth between the airline boarding for JFK and your watery eyes. He hates seeing you like this. He can’t imagine you, the strongest woman he’s ever met, crying because of him. Namjoon’s voice echoes in his mind and he tries to smash it to the edge of his memory. But as always, you’re right.
He replaces your grip with his own, and gets down on one knee.
Jungkook says your name like it's the sweetest of songs. You’ve never seen him so terrified. “y/n, I didn’t do it right the first time, so let me try again. Please, marry me. Marry me because I want to date you. I want to take you out and give you what you deserve, what we deserve. I want to do better for myself, do better for you. I’ve realized you’re the only person that makes me feel like I’m simultaneously on fire and on thin ice,” he pulls out a velvet box from his pocket, revealing a thin band with interlocking black and clear diamond studs. It’s a pretty little thing, with a groove in the center so it stacks perfectly with your engagement ring. “This was supposed to be your Christmas present, but I chickened out at the last second,” he says sheepishly, tucking his head in. “But if you let me put this ring on your finger, I promise to be your home away from home.”
With a sob you fall to your knees, throwing yourself onto Jungkook. A small “oof” escapes his lips, and he struggles to hold your waist so you both don’t topple over. “Yes, yes, yes!” you cry, pulling away to cup his face with both hands, pulling him into a sweet kiss.
Jungkook’s smile takes up his entire face, and he eagerly pecks your lips one more time before ripping the ring from its holder and stacking it on top of your engagement ring. The teardrop diamond is nestled perfectly between the thinner band’s V. “Pretty,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Wait,” you pull out the black ring that you found in your room, holding it to his face. “I’m assuming this is yours?”
“Yeah,” he replies, “your mother said it was your great grandfather’s. It’s not an engagement ring, but it’s the thought that counts.”
“It matches,” you hum, placing his simpler band in his ring finger. Once it’s on, you take a deep breath. “Shit, we’re really doing this?”
Jungkook pulls you to stand, wiping the happy tears from your cheek. “We are, we’re a team, remember? We’ve crossed the line and we gotta finish it.”
And he picks you up, the workouts definitely paying off as he spins you around like you’re the leads in La-La Land, drunk off the happy chemicals firing in your brain. Jimin whoops and hollers, along with all the other patrons in the vicinity of the airport terminal.
Your real-fiancé puts you down, the both of you now hyperconscious of the stares people give you. Other people have filmed the proposal as well, completely smitten by your confessions.
“Jungkook,” you giggle into his shoulder, “you were right. Our story is straight out of a Wattpad entry.”
“Down to the super cheesy in-public airport proposal?” he chimes, pressing his forehead to yours. “Couldn’t have asked for a better love story.”
“I can’t wait to fall in love with you,” you whisper, quiet enough for his ears only, “for real, this time.”
“Not that it’s a challenge,” he teases softly, “but I’m already halfway there.”
some months later.
“Like the new office, boss lady?” your new assistant (yes, you have an assistant!) asks kindly, his bubbly presence uplifting you immediately. He leads you to the window box, filled with tiny plants. “I figured you like succulents, because you have no time to water them and they’re prickly like you.”
“Very funny, Seungkwan.” you chide good-naturedly, picking up a succulent with a yellow flower in the middle. “But thank you, your interior design skills are outmatched. I can’t wait to work with you.”
“Me too, your social commentary you published on the literary industry? And you managed to lace it all up in an inconspicuous fantasy novel?” Seungkwan boasts, “I applied for this position right then and there.”
“Thanks Seungkwan, why don’t you take your lunch and we’ll meet back at one to discuss our plans for next week.”
“Sounds good, do you want me to pick you up something?”
“I’m good, I’m meeting with the bossman.”
Seungkwan gives you that look, his lips jutting out in a suggestive manner that almost makes you burst into giggles. Your assistant decides not to bother you until after you’ve eaten, and bids you goodbye.
Just when you get a moment of peace, a handsome face pokes his way inside. “Hello editor,” Jungkook knocks on your door for the sake of attention, but you’re already dragging him into the office and shutting the door tight. “Like your new office?”
“Love it,” you moan, gesturing to Seungkwan’s light filtering curtains. They’re not dark, rather a tasteful sea green, but they’re opaque enough to stop wandering eyes from peeking into your space. Your personal space was a qualm that immediately needed to be mended after your experience in Jungkook’s office. “A lot more private than your office.”
“A little part of me hates how much you deserve this promotion,” he sits on your desk, and doesn’t hesitate to pull you between his legs, letting you lean into his chest, “but I do love the added privacy.”
You fiddle with the buttons of his navy collar, his strong thighs trap you between him, “Why, miss me already?”
He shrugs, “Taehyung doesn’t look as good as you do in a pencil skirt.”
You laugh, brushing the strands of hair that fall from his coiff. “No one looks as good as I do in a pencil skirt.” A firm grip confirms that, two strong hands cupping your backside. “Mr. Jeon!” you gasp playfully, pushing him away slightly to pinch his cheeky grin. “Can we save this for later? I’m hungry, but we can always continue this for dessert.”
He groans in your neck, “Love the sound of that, Mrs. Jeon.”
bonus.
“FUUUCCCKKKKKK YEEAAHHHHH!” Park Jimin’s voice bounces off the walls of Taeyeon’s office, his face taking up the entire screen of his desktop as the camera shifts harshly between him and you and Jungkook at the airport. “My cousin’s not going to jail! WOO!”
Taeyeon pauses the YouTube video at a particularly unflattering screencap: Jimin’s nostrils are flaring wildly and he looks fairly high mid-scream.
A low whistle escapes Jungkook’s lips, “Wow. That video’s viral,” he looks to you appreciatively, “if Jimin kicks off his YouTube career, you think we can milk a memoir outta him?”
“Potentially,” you reply nonchalantly, playing with your rings.
“So,” Taeyeon’s voice is icy, slashing between your casual conversation, “you’re getting married, for real this time?”
“Yep,” Jungkook pops.
“Alright,” and from her desk she pulls out an ungodly stack of documents, one that mirrors your own back at the office. “Jungkook, you’ll stay with me. y/n, you’ll go to Vernon’s office and he’ll give you the same spiel. We’ll interview you privately with the same questions. A hair out of place and you’re in trouble. You sure you want to go through with this?”
You and Jungkook exchange looks, betting your own company that you got this in the bag.
“Hit us with your best shot.”
#jungkook#jungkook fic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#bts fanfic#jeongguk#jungkook fluff#kpop#kpop fic#jjk#bts x reader#how did i manage to write this
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MvA assorted headcanons
General:
So many years together has made the core monsters inseperable. If something affects one member, it affects the group.
All. The. Monsters. Are. Family.
It takes Susan a while to understand inside jokes and past incidents because of being the most recent addition.
There are Other anomalous creatures kept in Area 5X, but they are either non-sentient and/or are too dangerous to be kept around the more human-friendly monster group.
Area 5X is so gotdang big because they were expecting a lot more kaijus like Insecto to crop up. Sadly not many have surfaced to justify the space.
There’s a hangar in Area 5X full of wrecked UFOs. Some are spacecraft wreckage while others are stuff like weird meteors (Susan’s is in there), and at least one alien creature that got crystallised upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.
There’s significant difference in staff employed at different points throughout the past 50 years. There are far more women on the Area 5X worksheet than back in the 50s, and the guards are generally more sympathetic towards the monsters. Many modern staff members have been reprimanded or let go for failing to uphold secrecy, or for unnecessary cruelty towards the monsters.
Budget cuts were a legitmate concern up until the Battle of Golden Gate Bridge. The facility was far more barebones and sterile before the government had to formally recognise Area 5X’s importance. There have been a lot of redecorating at the facilty since the fat checks started coming in.
Putting individual characters under read due to length.
Susan:
Enjoys many hobbies considered stereotypically feminine; baking, sewing, cosmetics, etc...
Grandparents and extended family are farmers or are atleast connected to the business. Modesto is the agricultural centre of California after all. Her parents were the first of their generation to go against the mold and seek out white-collar careers.
Studied cosmetology in school and was working at a beauty salon to save up for her and Derek’s wedding.
Is very athletic and grew up doing a number of physical extracurriculars like cheerleading, dodgeball, and roller-derby.
Grew up being teased for being the shortest kid in her class/family. They still tease her for it.
Greatly fears causing collateral damage and/or harm to others through her size.
Has issues with anxiety, worsened only by her new job as “savior of earth”. She wishes for a confidant to tell her worries to.
Married life with Derek was doomed to fail. Susan had a plan in place for what came after the marriage, and focusing 100% on Derek’s career was not it. There’s also the line from Derek’s mother about Susan being “the weatherman’s wife”, implying that she was to be the homemaker and not have a career of her own. It’s possible that Susan was planning to settle down and have kids with Derek, but the lack of control she had in moving to Fresno implied that more was going on.
Is currently “taking a break” from love and dating, despite gaining many new admirers.
Tries her best to return to Modesto to visit her family and friends whenever possible, though work often keeps her away for weeks at a time.
If she retains her height-shifting abilities as in the series; Susan goes through really bad “growing” pains.
Link:
Was frozen in his relative late-teens during a cold snap. Got shifted around until he ended up somewhere in Greenland before being discovered by modern humans. Post-thaw he went a bit wild, swimming frantically back south to try and find his old enviroment.
Was one of many scrappy youngsters in his troop, with a number of adoptive parents. The strongest ruled the troop, and Link was fairly weak in comparision to the leaders. He had gotten into a fight the day of his freezing (over something silly in hindsight) and swam away to sulk. When he didn’t return after the cold snap - the troop accepted that he had likely died out on his own.
Likes to freak out humans by making up weird biology facts about his species and ones he’s fought against - like joking about laying eggs or having his tail dettach and regrow like a lizard. However there’s some things he has to ask about, because he doesn’t have medical knowledge or words to describe something.
A lot of his macho behavior came from imitating the guards who kept watch on him. 1950s violent military alpha males aren't a very good role model for someone who doesnt know what societal norms are yet. Link was a lot more insufferable back in the day but chilled out as he began interacting with other walks of life.
Has a high paternal instinct and immediately becomes softer around kids and smaller animals.
Has body language similar to a cat/alligator. Slaps his tail when angry or in deep thought. And yes; Link purrs/rumbles when happy.
Loves monster movies - especially the ones where the monsters “win”. He cried when he saw “Beauty and the Beast” and then immediately booed loudly when the Beast turned human.
Does Not Trust doctors or scientists due to bad past experiences. Will only go to Dr Cockroach and Monger if he ever gets hurt/ill. Gets stressed fast if he has to be in a waiting room or doctors office.
Link had no idea what gender indentities or orientations were until recently - he did come from a pre-human civilization that really didnt mind/care about the schemantics. It took him some time to wrap his head around it. He identifies himself as bisexual after much thought and many hours alone on the computer.
Don't press him about his body. He's built different from humans and cis people. He will punch anyone who doesnt respect his or anyone elses identity.
Has been in love before. It didn’t end well.
Will occasionally wear clothes, but finds it a challenge to find anything that fits him. Will give any shoes he finds to Dr Cockroach and BOB to eat.
The best driver/pilot out of all the monsters.
Dr Cockroach:
True name is Jaques-Yves Herbert. Prefers to just go by "Dr Cockroach" because he dislikes the association with his birth family.
Picks up human languages very easily, although not as quickly as he can understand animals.
Parents were a mixed scientist couple. His father was an aggressive “Strong British Man” that would beat him son down for not following orders or for not meeting his standards for a man. Dr C turned down both chances to attend his parents funerals.
This man isn’t straight. He probably uses old-fashioned slang when asked about romance such as; “I am Uranian” or “I wear a green carnation”. It took Susan a few times to realise what he meant, as she is used to a more open minded enviroment.
Got the idea of transforming into a cockroach from reading Franz Kafkas “The Metamorphosis” as a child. He sympathized with Gregor’s abusive situation, and began considering the possibilties of how one could survive better as a creature like a cockroach.
Studied in biology and entomology in the Uk before moving to the states to follow engineering. Obtained his degree in Dance as a “side gig” in University.
Has been barred from free access to the coffee maker/machine due to overnighters. Once stayed awake so long that he forgot the letter “R”.
Owned a terrarium of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches throughout college. He mourned each of them when his roommate’s iguana got into the tank.
Was a "beatnik" back in the day and still kinda is. Embraces and encourages modern counterculture as he himself was not given such acceptance in his youth. He has however shamefully eaten his old Lenny Bruce album.
Hasn’t actually aged physically since his transformation. He attributes this to the fact that certain athropods can’t age physically beyond maturity. Link is very jealous.
Has obtained more degrees while in captivity, as Monger allowed him access to research and learning materials. He has however had his allowances revoked for previous escape attempts/doomsday devices.
Does still enjoy human food, but the cockroach instinct of "eat detritus" tends to overrule his eating choices. Can’t cook either.
Ironically a terrible driver. The damages from previous drives has made Monger restrict him from operating even a razor scooter.
BOB:
Pretty much considers himself human. Was created by them, raised by one (Monger), and talks like one. Gets sad when he's reminded that no other humans are blue blobs like him.
Absorbed some dna from the scientists present at his "birth", leading to his eye, speech, and omnivorous diet.
Doesnt actually need to breathe (as he can just absorb oxygen through his mass) but the fact that humans Do means that BOB thinks he has to as well.
Shares some physical characteristics with tomatoes/nightshade plants, as he is technically half tomato. He refuses to eat tomatos for this very reason, considering it cannibalism.
Attracts garden pests looking for a tomato plant. This unwittingly makes BOB a pretty good bug zapper.
Still retains his "mental broadcast" ability from "BOB's Big Break" although at a more subtle level. He tends to parrot the things he accidentally "eavesdropped" on.
Is empathetic, and can tell when others aren't doing ok emotionally. Will flop down on someone who’s really sad to comfort them. No brain, only heart.
Best cook out of the monsters. If he doesn’t forget what he’s making at least.
"Whats a gender? Can I eat it?"
Insectosaurus:
Core body is that of a Japanese Silkmoth, although she ended up being spliced with other animals present on the island during her initial mutation; namely ants and ground squirrels.
Eats over a literal ton of mulberry leaves per day. Also enjoys oranges.
Secretly wishes to be more humanoid.
Was only able to pupate and transform due to physical trauma. It seems that her transformation was like a “power-up” that required her to be in geniune distress for it to activate.
First language is Japanese. She learned it from the intial recovery team, and later developed an understanding of English from years in Area 5X.
Goes into torpor in cold weather. Pretty much impossible to wake her up for missions during Winter, as she needs to “rev up” before becoming mobile.
Still very much Link’s best friend. Still enjoys sports, chicks, and beer.
Monger:
Full name is; Warren Rex Monger.
Is very protective of the monsters and will defend them to the death.
Pretty much raised BOB (as seen when BOB was a baby blob in “Night of the Living Carrots”), and considers him his “freaky gelatinous son”.
Has a reputation of being a “control-freak” due to his aggressive overseeing of the monsters’ containment. This toughness is partly because of incidents that occured without his knowledge. Lets just say some scientists have been wedgied/fired for running experiments on the monsters without Monger’s approval.
Has a very “Ron Swanson” emotional response and view of the world. Crying is acceptable only at funerals and at the Grand Canyon (if he hadn’t lost his tear ducts in the war).
Has been married multiple times. Will not confirm or deny if he is currently seeing anyone.
Invisible Man/TiM:
Legit got out but no one at Area 5X is sure how. He suffered a geniune medical emergency and disappeared after surgery. The other monsters were informed that he died from complications to deter them from getting escape ideas.
Is able to be detected in Infrared light. Dr Cockroach managed to rig up goggles to view TiM in case of injury and to foil pranks.
Was a scientist working on an invisibility potion for the military and used himself as a guinea pig. Hasn’t actually been able to replicate his results since - thinks the effect may have been caused by a genetic abnormality.
Dr Cockroach and him are massive rivals. Both actually met eachother pre-transformation through a CalTech expedition. This makes the pair one of few people that have seen the others human face.
Is 100% naked. Was forced to wear clothing once this was discovered.
A massive prankster and a cynic. Him and Link were a force to be reckoned with.
Has revisted the facility multiple times and has started a number of ghost stories.
Any additions are welcome! I proably have alot more to dump about. Might make one of the alien characters from the series
#monsters vs aliens#mva#susan murphy#ginormica#the missing link#dr cockroach#bob mva#general monger#the invisible man mva#insectosaurus#headcanons
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Hello! hopefully the matchup are still open & if so can i ask one for harry potter (golden trio era) and dc?
My name is Ziah and I would prefer a male matchup.
my pronouns are she / her , my hogwarts house is ravenclaw and im an Aries. Im slightly on the thicker side and have a darker skin tone. I have a scar straight down my forehead and have brown, almost black eyes. My hair is short as well as curly and i usually have it half up half down . Personality wise, I am very quiet and nonchalant but friendly. My personality is defined as the investigator. I tend to go at my own pace but others around me say, I'm pretty hardworking & intelligent. I would personally describe myself as someone humble and highly accepting. People often say that my resting face looks intimidating, but im really nice to get along with.
My best subjects are math and science. My hobbies include learning about forensics , philosophy and medical sciences. Though i do play basketball in my past time. Other activities are painting ,digital art , piano and my favorite of all taking four hour long naps !!!
My clothing stye is and dark academia but with sneakers.
Likes / dislikes:
•likes : osteology dogs sweet-tea rnb
lemon flavors mythology thunderstorms
•dislikes : flying bugs sticky heats ants nagging squash
Not going to lie but i honestly just want to hang around people who have similar humor / morals and to nap with.
Also may you include the theme song , added gifs and possibly dialogue about the scenario?
~Thank you in advance !!
Hello dear 💖, thanks for the request.
For harry potter I ship you with:
Harry potter⚡️
Yes this may be abit odd but I think your personality works for him.
You met through hogwarts, harry was drawn to your intelligent personality.
You were of course a ravenclaw and the others were slytherin and gryffindor.
You and harry share a taste for mature things that not many people are into.
You could be someone that he moves onto from that isn't cho Chang or ginny.
Harry liked your humble and intelligent side.
He would love to read by your side and sleep with you.
You would have your first date with harry was nearby the black Lake, reading and studying.
Your second date was in the library or honeydukes, eating chocolate or reading about stories.
I can see harry admitting his feelings for you.
Harry: ziah, i-I have something I want to ask you.
Ziah: hm *she perks up*
Harry: I admit not many witches astound me as much as you
Harry: why thank you potter, your quite a good friend.
Harry: no, I mean I like you ziah, alot, what I mean is, I have feelings for you.
Ziah: oh, wow uh-, I've never really had anyone feel that way before.
Harry would surprisingly be a romantic yet awkward kisser if your into that.
Harry would marry you after the events of voldemort, your child would be in ravenclaw and they would have your hair and his eyes.
Your theme song:
For dc I ship you with:
Bruce wayne a.k.a batman🦇
Your intelligence suits batman and his personality.
He's quite secretive but he will open up to you.
You worked as a researcher for Bruce and graduated from Gothem.
You were a apart of the justice league having your own super power.
You and batman started seeing eachother quite a bit before dating.
You and batman would in your spare time read when Bruce Wayne is in his mansion.
Catwoman would be jealous.
Batman would take you on a date to a fancy restaurant.
Ziah: so Bruce, this is one of your many surprises I see.
Batman: yes, but I like to organise the best for you.
Ziah: like the time we were nearly killed on our fourth date.
Batman: no *kisses your forehead.
Ziah: your quite a romantic, I should say I'm not used to going on many dates.
Batman: no, neither am I *smiles*
You would paint and do play piano while Bruce listens or watches in the background.
You would marry in a chapel with the justice league there. Your child would have his eyes and your hair, they would be the next batman.
Your theme song:
Anyways that's all for now:
Ta Ta ✨️
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OC Personality Sheet / Tag Game
Rules: Copy and paste these questions and make your own post, please do not add onto this one, it’ll get too long too fast. Mahalo. Then tag some of your friends to let them know you’d like to hear more about their ocs! (original by @/queen-breha-organa)
——— Cheeri Said I could so I am ———
Name: Bene McCallum Drallig
Pronouns: She/Her
Nickname: Bean, Beanie, Little Bean, eeny Beanie, Sunshine Child, Sweet Summer Baby, Ben, Baby Drallig
One Word To Sum Them Up: Miracle
Noun to Describe Them: Optimistic
Temperament: Sweet, Kind, always tries to see the best in people, very friendly until prevoked, very hard working
MBTI Type: ESFJ
Enneagram Type: The Free Spirit
Other’s First Impression of Them: A sweethearted child, seemingly the opposite of her Master, a literal ray of sunshine
General Likes: Spending time with her Master (Cin Drallig) or lineage sister (Serra Keto), spending time with other people, getting to learn from others, reading, listening to the stories from the Temple Guard, watching her friends
General Dislikes: Thoughtless chaos, violence for the sake of violence, people looking down on others, bullying, the war in general, stressful situations
Romantic Status: A teenager with some big ol gay crushes <3
Love Interest (s): Miho Fukuhara / F, Ina Bala, Gura Same
Good Friend (s): Miho Fukuhara / F, Scout, Whie Malreaux, Baylis Archan, Tan Yuster, Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee (the big sister energy is real with this one), Knox, Farren Barr, Jay (Canon), Gura Same, Ina Bala, Andsia Nosa, Zeyil Sume, Persica sacae ( @certified-anakinfucker ), and Eira Holly (OC)
Enemy (s): Sheev Palpatine / Darth Sidious, Ventress, Grievous, anyone who breaks into the Temple, the Seperatists, Pong Krell, Noliod Val ( @certified-anakinfucker ), Ki-Adi Mundi
Hobbies: Reading, Studying to be an Instructor, Training with her friends, baking/cooking, training with her Master and Serra
Songs They Relate To: Someone to You (Banners), Brand New (Ben Rector), Sing (Noristry)
Fictional Characters Similar To Their Personality: ... >.> considering how I built up Bene from zero information because she just got a name and then got killed by (cough) Anakin... a little bit of Wendy Marvel (Fairy Tail), New Morganite (Houseki no Kuni), Baby Leonardo Da Vinci (Fate), May/Brandon (Pokemon RSE), a little bit of Momo Yaoyorozu (BNHA), Alphonse Elric (FMA:B), Toru Honda (Fruits Basket)
Fun Fact: Serra Keto and Bene are related by blood through Cin Drallig (in my work at least), though Bene’s circumstances of conception arent exactly great in the most basic terms. Still, if she knows or not is unknown, as Cin doesn’t like talking about it all that much, but she’s definitely figured out that Cin is her parent biologically.
Free Space/Ramble: Bene figured out a loophole in the Temple Guard’s Oaths that allowed her to know who each of them were individually on a personal level as the Oath state that the Head of the Guard is allowed to know their identities if not a part of the Guard already, among other proxies of that Head— and so Bene considers herself a proxy under that oath. No one’s really sure if its technically correct but the Oaths havent broken, so they assume its fine.
Since everyone was tagged already i think and also this one was a haha funni (ily cheeri), anyone who hasnt done one of these but ants to is free to do it!
#Bene (Star Wars)#Star Wars the Clone Wars#Cin Drallig#Serra Keto#I think im hilarious imo#ily cheeri <3#yk how everyone has those characters that are basically their OCs#yeah this is one of em#fhdkfhdfkjdf#Kiwiki Tag Game
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Hiya! I was wondering if you would give me a match up for the shifter boys (davey, milo, and asher) from redacted asmr?
My name is Jenna, my pronouns are she/her, i’m a Capricorn moon, sagittarius sun, and Capricorn rising, and my myers-briggs is INFJ. I’m 5’3 and I have a pretty slim build (I am shaped like the letter p though) (which basically means i’m busty with no ass🥲) just pretty much petite lol. I’m very shy and introverted but once we become friends, i can be pretty funny and outgoing. I’m pretty much a people pleaser and will let people walk all over me😅 but i’m super nice and caring. I love music (i’ve been singing in a choir for over 8 years and i’m well with the piano) and I love playing video games (games such as genshin impact, zelda, basically any rpg game, and the occasional otome game) I also really enjoy anime, writing, and dogs (any kind of dog really but i prefer big dogs😍)
Hope that’s enough info😭
hello love!! this is plenty of information :)
i’m pairing you up with…
the lovely asher.
- first off, i hope you know that asher here would BEG to play video games with you.
- he might or might not be good at genshin or rpg games in general. but he’d try his best.
- or, he’d just lay on your lap while watching you play.
- it’s not even about the games, really. he’s not that picky when it comes to them. he mostly just wants to spend time with you.
- and what better way to do that than to play video games with the one he cares for the most?
- when the two of you first met, he could easily tell how shy and reserved you were. not wanting to scare you away with his loud and outgoing personality, he tried cautiously getting to know you.
- after awhile he noticed how you began to let your walls down little by little, trusting him with your true personality.
- the jokes you two make are unmatched. (you two give milo and david headaches pretty often, might i add).
- you found it so easy to talk and hang out with him. and it only caused the two of you to grow closer.
- listening to you sing songs and play the piano is another one of his favorite things to do.
- if he’s coming home from a long day at work and he hears you singing, it’ll instantly calm his nerves.
- he’d try and be as quiet as he can so that he won’t disturb you while he listens with a fond smile on his face.
- he may not have an ear for music, but he’ll be your biggest supporter through and through.
- he’d always brag about how good you are, saying things like, “have you heard jen’s voice? she’s literally amazing. and those piano skills- out of this fucking world!”
- i personally headcanon that his favorite anime is hunter x hunter, so the two of you would spend your free time trying to get through the chimera ant arc.
- it takes a few months, but you two make it through successfully.
- he’d also really like fruits basket, so he’d beg you to watch it with him as well.
- i just KNOW he’d be first in line to read your work whenever you write.
- he’s always so fascinated at the things you come up with; it just blows his mind completely.
- this is another thing he’d brag about.
- if you ask, surprisingly he’d give great and constructive feedback on your work. it amazes you how he articulates his ideas, and he just shrugs in response, just brushing it off as just any other suggestion.
- aside from your hobbies and the things you enjoy, asher always makes sure that you feel welcomed in the pack, and that you feel good about yourself in general.
- he makes sure that you know that you’re beautiful, and that you’re perfect in your own way.
- he admires you as well, so he makes sure to let you know that too.
thank you for the request!! <3.
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TW: Transphobia, Homophobia, abuse, neglect, p3dophilia, s3xual assault, su!cide, alcohol
~Vent~
My mother is constantly saying that they is only two gender and is always dead naming me, the one time I get her to say my preferred name she rolls her eyes and scoffs as she says it.
My mother has told me my whole life that she owns me and that I don't get to make any decisions for myself, she was dressing me until I was disowned at 14.
My mother would threaten to k!ll herself is I ever did something she didn't like, this includes: having a panic attack, dealing with over stimulation, trying to dress myself, telling her to stop walking in on me while I was showering/changing, going to bed early, going to bed late, saying I was hungry, asking to be allowed to go outside, wearing my headphones, not being strictly christian/not eating kosher, ect.
My mother got rid of my pet hermit crabs without telling me and was constantly trying to release my turtles even though they would die in the wild and they were being taken care of very well with a large, clean tank and plenty of food and hiding places, a special light that was good for their shell, and a great water to land ratio.
My mother slut shamed me because I was wearing shorts that went above my knees (they were perfectly appropriate btw).
My mother would scream at me for hours if I got anything less than a 100% on a test and even if I did get a 100% she would ask me why I didn't get any extra credit even if there was none available and even if I'd did get extra credit she would ask why I didn't get MORE extra credit.
While I lived with my mother I had a diet of nothing but microwave meals and chips and chips because she spent all of her money on vape, cigarettes, and alcohol. I would constantly be near unconsciousness due to my low blood sugar because I had nothing to eat.
She has slapped me across the face multiple times, one time with sharp plastic that cut my chin, she did this as a punishment. One time she slapped me because my blood sugar was low and I was grumpy, this is how it went down:
Me: Hey I know you wanna talk right now but can I make some food first my blood sugar is low this should take me 20 minutes max"
Her: No, I'm you mother and your going to talk to me right now
Me: Can I please just get something to eat
Her: *yells at me wich causes me to get distracted*
Me: *spills uncooked mac&cheese because distracted*
Her: *yells at me then slaps me across the face*
My mother nearly beat me to unconsciousness because she was very drunk, I had bruises all over me the next morning but I was to afraid to say anything because I new she would scream at me and hurt me more.
She molested me daily, forced me to change in front of her, forcefully spooned me in bed for hours even after I said no, and would "playfully" spank me.
She was constantly talking about how sexy a 17 year old at her work was and even bought him vape. She would also talk about some of my friends like that and even tried to internet stalk two of them, we are all minors.
She would lock the door to the apartment and wouldn't give me a key and would force me to wait outside in knee deep snow for hours without any warm clothing because she stole it all. She also refused to drive me to school in -8 degree (f) weather because she didn't want to loose her parking spot. I was also forced to bike to and from band practice (with she forced me to to do because she wanted to live through me) in 30 degree (f) with heavy rain because she didn't want to loose her parking spot.
She would consistently make fun of me for reading or doing anything that I enjoyed because I was a "nerd" and a "looser"
She disowned me after she stole my phone, went through it and found out I was a lesbian.
I couldn't even go into my yard without telling her where I was going, if I didn't tell her I would be screamed at and not allowed out my room, for a day and then not allowed out of the house for two more weeks.
She routinely went through my phone and my belongings without my permission, knowledge, or consent, in case I had anything "suspicious".
I tried moving in with my dad and she sued him.
She stole my most prized pokemon cards, a bag, most of my clothes, all of my old toys, and over $200 from my in the span of two weeks.
My room didn't have a door and she positioned herself so that she had to go through my room to get anywhere else in the house.
She would frequently lock the bathroom door so that it was only accessable from her room.
I told her I like pop music and she called me a failure then continued to play her extremely s3xual, vulgar, music about dr*gs, alcohol, and r@pe.
From the time I was 8 she tried to force me to drink alcohol because its "cool"
She forcefully pushed me against a wall because I refused to give her a hug after she made an offensive joke and I called her out for it.
She screamed at me because I corrected her after she misgendered me.
I had to learn morse code just so I could speak to my friends without her knowing what I was saying.
When I started counseling because I wanted to k!ll myself and because I was having upwards and 15-25 panic attacks per day, she forced me to tell her everything that happened in counseling even if I didn't want to.
She always gangs up on me in fights but if I try to get back up she just yells at me more.
She refused to take me to the hospital when I had a concussion and forced me to go to school all week even though I could barely stand or speak and now I have verbal and motor tics which she makes fun of.
She would scream at me because I sit down in the shower even though I have arthritis. (Yes I have arthritis at 15, it runs in the family and before to long I might develop psoriasis, I have shitty genes)
I wasn't allowed to wear anything that revealed my shoulders, that was low cut, shower any part of my stomach or back, short that went above my knees, ect.
I wasn't allowed to get my hair cut below my chin because it " wasn't feminine enough"
I wasn't allowed to have anything that was "for boys" this included clothes, toys, books, stickers, blankets, posters, movies, ect.
She forced me to watch R rated movies with her even if I didn't feel comfortable watching them.
I wasn't allowed to have any friends over and I wasn't allowed to go to any friends house, the one time I did have friends over she judged all of them and tried me to stop hanging out with them after they left. My friends are all very good people and are the only reason I'm still alive rn, she was just mad that I was talking to people who weren't her.
She screamed at she because I got one (1) drop of dark green ink on her black coffee table that she got for free.
I wasn't allowed to draw any male characters because she was afraid I would get off to them or something idk (this was before I was forcefully outed)
She bought me a triple chocolate cake for my birthday once. I'm allergic to chocolate. She forgot my birthday the next year.
Anytime I would tell her about the terrible bullying that was going on she would tell me to get over it, even after I had been thrown to the ground and strangled by one of my classmates.
If I got into a new game or hobby she would either take it away or shame me for playing it.
She spent all day on the computer playing Sims 3 to the point where I had to feed myself, take care of myself, and play by myself as young as 5.
She screamed at me because while talking about Pokemon lore I mentioned how Arceus is the god of the Pokemon world and she said I shouldn't say that because it would "make god mad" ( I have nothing against christians or christianity btw, just the people who shove it down your throat like she does)
I wasn't allowed to eat or drink the last of anything (finishing a bag of chips, taking the last soda, ect.) If I did she would scream at me and slap me as punishment.
She threatened to forbid me form seeing my cousin (who for the first 11 years of my life was my only friend) if I ever "talked back" to her.
She wod frequently strangle me as a form of "tough love".
When I was 2 she tried to teach me how to swim by holding me under water over and over again, drowning is now one of my greatest fears. Luckily I did learn to swim with the help of cousin and granny and even enjoy swimming but it is hard for me to do things like wash my face in the shower or stay under water for more than a few seconds without panicking.
She never taught me how to cook but then would scream at me because I didn't know how to cook.
Her smoking inside and while driving has caused me to have some lung issues, she denies that she ever smoked near me.
She tried to take me away frome everyone in my life including my family and friends so that I could only spend time with her.
When I was in fifth grade she homeschooled me and forced me to do college lever reading, learn how to code, learn at least two other languages that weren't english, learn how to play guitar, do gymnastics, do jujitsu (japanese), do soccer, learn to sing (keep I mind I had no interest in music, but she did), do a digital homeschooling program set at a highschool level, and learn a bunch of useless skills like knot tying and making friendship bracelets because it was "feminine". This was in FIFTH FUCKING GRADE.
We didn't have a washer or dryer and she would never go to to town to get laundry done so I never had clean clothes.
If I had more that $10 I had to give the rest to her.
She tried to kidnap me once.
One time on accident I stood in a bull ant hill and got stung all over (if you don't know ants all sting at once), I was swollen all over and screaming in pain and she did nothing, not even give me ice or ointment, she just told me to be more careful.
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